My Brilliant Christmas Idea

             Okay, hear me out. Not all of us get our entire families together on Christmas. There are trade-off agreements with in-laws and exes, work schedules, travel expenses, and all kinds of reasons why your family might be missing a few people this year.

            But here’s the solution: Bump the holiday. Hey, Jesus wasn’t even born in December; we all know that. So pick the next weekend, or the next one when flight costs return to normal.

            You’ll still have all the wonderful times together, the memories, the wacky disasters you’ll laugh at for years. They just don’t have to happen on the exact date of Christmas. Then BOTH sides of the family get the excitement of opening gifts, enjoying a feast together, singing carols, taking selfies in front of the tree, making a gingerbread house, playing games, re-enacting the nativity, and all the other traditions you hold dear. You can even take advantage of the after-Christmas sales!

             Brilliant, right? I know. Meanwhile, how about a holiday for neuro-divergent thinkers who come up with this ingenious stuff?

            And check out my Youtube Mom videos—hundreds of quick life hacks you’ll love.

Funny Business

         If you’re a frequent reader, you know that all our kids are hilarious.

And quick. We’re planning a trip with them and I can’t wait.

          Meanwhile, here’s a sampling of what I can look forward to:

          (On a Zoom call, trying to plan the next one):

          Cassidy: Seven is okay, but that would be 8 o’clock here.

          Richie: Oh, that’s right. Because you live in the future.

          (Texting when I thanked them for the new computer they gave me for my birthday):

          Cassidy: Glad it’s better than the last one! A big thank you goes to Richie for seeing you needed it and knowing what to get you as well.

          Brandon: Fine. Thank you Richie.

          These are the same monkeys who try to come up with the most ridiculous things imaginable, when we go around the Thanksgiving table and say what we’re grateful for.

          And who made me worry through a whole vacation.

          And who used a fake name at a solemn ceremony.

          And who cracked joke after joke about my chemo.

           And who ruined all my clothes by giving them crazy names.

          I can only imagine what lies in store when we get all these kids together. Stay tuned!

          Meanwhile, check out my website where you can find all my books and a link to my Youtube Mom videos!

10 Things I Will Not Do on My Next Summer Vacation

1. I will not let the family comedian ride by the window where he can motion for the drivers of semi trucks to honk, thus scaring the rest of us out of our wits.
2. I will not park a motorhome next to a gathering of people who are still mourning the death of Jerry Garcia.
3. I will not allow a Boy Scout to navigate, just so he can get a badge.
4. I will not allow a Boy Scout to navigate, just because he GOT a badge.
5. I will not allow any chorus of children to sing songs about finding peanuts.
6. I will not stay on a working ranch that doesn’t realize the word ‘working’ is just a figure of speech.
7. I will not engage in any activity that involves oars.
8. I will not go to a ‘cook your own food’ restaurant (isn’t this what we went on vacation to escape?)
9. I will not wear knit pants on any ride that bears the sign: You will get soaked.
10. I will not participate in hula stage shows if video cameras are present.
11. I will not sign up for the city tour on a bus that also transports chickens.
12. I will not buy musical replicas of national monuments.
13. I will not pack any shoe with more than a one-inch heel.
14. I will not allow shells containing live creatures, to be packed up and brought home.

One thing you can safely do is take along a beach read-- may I suggest one of my books available here?