Ah-laska!

           You know my philosophy: Either things go great, or it’s material. Win-win.

          So I never even hope for smooth travel; I kind of wait for the disasters and, as you know, travel never disappoints.

          This time we cruised to Alaska with dear friends and had a fabulous time with them. St. Bob’s text notification is a quacking duck, so every time ducks flew overhead (which was often) he pulled out his phone to check his messages. Much to my amusement.

Did we see whales? 

          Nope. Did we see bears?

           Nope. Did we see moose? 

          Nope. Did we see the Northern Lights?        

          Nope. Did our helicopter ride to the top of a glacier get cancelled due to bad weather?

          Yep. Did our whale-watching excursion get cancelled as well? Yep. But we did get to zip-line, see two bald eagles, and eat ourselves into oblivion.  I think that last one is required on all cruises.

Well, that and watching my Youtube Mom videos here.

To Bee or Not to Bee?

         Our son, Brandon, had tickets to a concert in Joshua Tree, California. He and his girlfriend Melissa, rented a car so they could take Odin, his 165-pound Great Dane.

They had just arrived when Brandon abruptly injured his back. It was one of those “last straw” moments when he hardly did anything, but managed to tear a disc! He couldn’t walk or stand and said his pain level was eleven.

Melissa dashed him to the nearest emergency room, where they couldn’t do much. And here is where we learn how very much Brandon is like his mother, and cannot have one mishap without more bizarre mishaps piling on.

First of all, as Melissa picked him up at the curb and was trying to help him out of his wheelchair, a BEE flew up Brandon’s shorts. Who else has this happen? 

                

Brandon called the car rental company and asked if his girlfriend could bring it back for him.

          Absolutely not, he was told. His was the only name on the forms. Brandon explained that he couldn’t walk or drive, but their only suggestion was to have the car towed, for $150.00!

          Instead, Melissa drove it to half a block away, then Brandon carefully crouched behind the wheel and drove it in.  CRAZY!  And it turned out the folks there didn’t even care, as long as the car was back.

          That night a friend told him that sleeping on a mattress topper on the floor might help his back, so Brandon was just drifting off when the Great Dane, asleep on the sofa next to him, STEPPED ON HIS EYE!  And now he has scratches on his face.                                                                

          I’m telling you, he is three-for-three living my same life.  Maybe he should start writing a blog.  Meanwhile, sorry for the DNA, Brandon.

          Try to avoid injuries by sitting still at your computer and watching my Youtube Mom life hacks right here.

Welcome to "Guess My Phobia"

        I have several highly phobic friends. They can’t be in tight spaces (claustrophobia), fly on airplanes (aerophobia), or be atop a high cliff (acrophobia).  Two have ophidiophobia, fear of snakes. I’m not wild about spiders inside (arachnophobia), though I love to see them and their amazing webs outside.

          Are you afraid of anything? I mean, we’re all afraid of an armed attacker, right?  But I mean something irrational. In case you’d like to add some color and pizzazz to your personality, here are some quirky ones you can adopt:

Anthophobia: Fear of flowers, which lets you off the hook for buying expensive ones.

Barophobia: Fear of gravity, which puts you in a precarious position unless you’re a permanent astronaut.

Cibophobia: Fear of food, which can help you avoid being served items you don’t like, but it won’t explain an expanding waistline.

Ephebiphobia: Fear of teenagers. But in my opinion, this one is completely rational and should be shared by the entire populace.

Chromophobis: Fear of colors. Good luck finding peace of mind with this one.

Octophobia: No, it isn’t fear of octopuses. It’s fear of the number 8. I wonder how people landed on that particular number to fear. Does it make people fear times and dates? On the other hand, you have a built-in timer for every eight minutes.

There’s even phobophobia, the fear of phobias, in which case you wouldn’t even be reading this, I guess.

There’s even one you might already have, and not know it. It’s Fragapanophobia, the fear of birthdays. 

People get depressed as theirs approaches, and they don’t want anyone to acknowledge their birthday. I, however, cannot get too much hoopla, so I say bring it on. In fact, today is my actual birthday, so Happy Birthday to Me!

Celebrate by checking out my life hacks right here!