Say it Paint So!

           I have a new belief: I think paint molecules are sentient beings. Not only that, but they are pranksters, just looking for ways to spill and create chaos.

No use crying over spilled paint, you say? Oh, yes there is.  I spilled a quart of diluted outdoor, cream-colored paint ALL OVER my dark brown kitchen floor. I’m telling you, the paint LEAPED from my hands. Much worse than this:

          I’ve been working on a paint project in the back yard (pictures to come in next week’s post), and when carrying in the tools, my dyspraxia kicked in, and voila!  Paint everywhere.

          It splashed from the sink to the fridge, from the oven to the entry. Did I mention it also got all over the island?  And all over me?  I would have taken photos, but it was 106 degrees—we’ve been having a heat wave—and everything was drying the second it landed.

          I used an entire roll of paper towels mopping up this disaster, scrubbing dinner plate-sized puddles and pin-dot splatters, and digging into grooves between wooden planks. Took at least an hour.

          Then I hammered the lid back onto the paint can, trapping those little imps until next time.  But, of course, St. Bob came home in time to see me hammering and began to sing, “I hear you knockin’ but you can’t come in…”

          But you can relax in your clean home with no paint spills, and watch my Youtube Mom videos anytime!

Hold the Phone-- But Not There!

          This is an open letter to anyone involved in cell phone design. I am THIS CLOSE to hurling my phone at a nearby wall, but you can save the day.

          Stop designing the phones with buttons on the sides. This is where our fingers are when we hold the device.  

Literally every time I hand my phone to St Bob so he can see a photo or video, the minute he takes it, the picture vanishes. This is because he is a human being with fingers.

The sides are also where you have placed on/off buttons and volume buttons. Not only are they exactly where we grab our phones, but they start working the minute we touch the sides.

          Instead, why not put these buttons on the top or bottom? Nobody holds their phone by those sides.  It would keep them from being pressed accidentally, and the world would be a happier place.

Good ideas? You betcha. And I’m not even an engineer!

But I am the Youtube Mom, and you can watch my short life hack videos here.

St. Bob’s Phone Fake

           Two days ago I gave a talk in church. Members do most of the speaking in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and my turn rolled around.

          So I thought I’d speak about serving one another, which we do tons of—worldwide, in our communities, and even in church. We don’t have a paid ministry or paid anything; we all just volunteer, and say yes when called.

          Years ago I was president of the women’s group, and my biggest fear was that someone in our ward could die with no family to dress them. I'll explain. In our faith, many are dressed in special temple clothing, usually by family. Or, if there's no family, it's done by church members, and I was terrified to do it. 

          Well, the phone rang and Bob answered it. “Yes, yes she is. Yes, I’ll get her.”

          Now he covered the receiver and whispered to me, “It’s the Stake President. He wants you to be the Stake Dresser of the Dead.”

          ARE YOU KIDDING ME???  I’m sure I nearly fainted. A stake is roughly eight congregations! My brain immediately began conjuring up reasons why I couldn’t do this. One of them was the idea that we could even move away.

          Scared to death, pun intended, I picked up the phone and said hello. Well, it was someone else. Yes, St. Bob had pulled a fast one.  There is no such calling as Stake Dresser of the Dead.

          So I used the story in my talk to illustrate the fact that we aren’t always happy to jump in and serve, are we?

          But needless to say, I have been getting even ever since.

          This same monkey is my cameraman on my Youtube Mom videos of hundreds of life hacks.

The Heat's On

        Well, we slammed into the triple digits this week.  If we were made of cookie dough, we’d all be crispy by now (and this proves you are NOT what you eat, apparently).

          So I thought I’d let you know that it could be much worse.  Here are some hot-time-in-the-old town temperatures to consider:

          The hottest temperature ever recorded on earth was 136 F. in Libya, but California is a close second, with 134 F. (56 C.) in Furnace Creek Ranch in—you guessed it—Death Valley.  Aptly named locations, I might add.

          People know that lightning bolts are a major jolt of electricity, but they don’t always know how hot they are: 50,000 degrees F., five times hotter than the surface of the sun.

          A welding torch can be 6,000 degrees hot, enough to melt steel. Yes, gloves and a mask are a good idea.

          Heading to Hawaii to cool off?  Just as long as you avoid the 2200 degrees F. lava, you should be fine.

          Last, diamonds will melt at 1650 degrees F., another reason to stay in where it’s air conditioned.

          And while you’re inside, watch some of my life hacks right here. (Including how to make ice cream in a baggie)