Tuesday, December 20, 2022

Saving Money, Honey

           This is a time of over-spending, right? Christmas lists grow like Chia Pets, right before our eyes. And that means digging into your budget or becoming serious about coupons and discount codes.

          And then I caught that bug that’s going around—the sore throat and cough that seems to have hit every family. So that meant no more in-store shopping. It’s on-line or nothing now.

          But I managed to get some incredible bargains and had to brag to St. Bob with what squeaks were left of my crackly voice.

          “I just saved $18 because I had a code,” I said.

          And here’s his response: “You mean they would have charged you more if you didn’t have a cold?”

          Yes, this is how we get better in the Hilton house. We simply have to.

          And it’s not too late to get multiple copies of my booklet, A Little Christmas Prayer, on Amazon. Maybe the best Christmas story you can give, whether you have a cold or not.

Tuesday, December 13, 2022

When Fortune Smiles

          I was recently visiting with three other girlfriends and the subject turned to repair estimates. 

      It occurred to me that whether you want to hire someone to fix your car, your house, or your yard, the bottom line—below all the added items—will be as follows:

             They may as well just create a rubber stamp that says, “A Fortune” so none of us will have to actually add it all up.  

You want your ring re-set?  A fortune.

You want your wedding dress tailored for your cousin? A fortune.

You want catering? A fortune.

     You want any kind of anything? A fortune.
     I can just see a worker gently explaining this. “Ma’am, you can get another estimate if you want to, but we all have the same rubber stamp.”

          If your project requires lumber or electricity, you can double the fortune. See? I’ve just saved you the trouble of finding the calculator app.

But, good news: My perfect-for-anyone book, A Little Christmas Prayer, is not a fortune! Buy one for everyone on your list right here.

Tuesday, December 6, 2022

Lucy's Got More 'Splaining to Do!

           You know that my luggage brand is “Ricardo,” right? This fact is not forgotten by my family.  Nor by Karma, nor by any other supernatural powers that turn my trips into comedy routines.

          St. Bob and I just returned from a cruise. 

          The first leg of the trip took us to Chicago, where we saw this giant replica of a Bracchiosaurus that roamed Utah exactly where I grew up. Timing is everything.

          In Barcelona I tied my coat around my waist and pretended to be tidying up at Park Guell, and sent this photo to our kids:

          Brandon wrote, “I guess somebody’s Gaudi do it.”

          Then I got hooked on a jigsaw puzzle on board the ship:

          The next day I saved a little dog on Las Ramblas from getting hit by a car. He had chewed through his leash and the owner was just sitting there, eating and talking, not paying attention. You’re welcome, Spain.

          Next, off to the French Riviera. I was pointing out a building to Bob, in Monaco. I was telling about the flags, vaguely aware that Bob had worn a dark jacked and a baseball cap that day. Suddenly I looked up and it wasn’t Bob, but this good sport of a guy:                                                                

          And, of course, Bob came over and told him this is not the first time this has happened. Brandon said, "You found Dad's doppelganger."

          We got back on the bus and I dropped my water bottle. Bob asked if it broke, and was actually disappointed when I said no. “Darn,” he said, “I was hoping I could tell everyone that your water broke.”  Yep, this is how he thinks.  I texted the kids and Richie wrote back, “It’s really a shame there isn’t video of this.”

          And then, in Nice, we saw a twin of our cat, Simon, who passed away a few months ago. Maybe it really was Simon, letting us know he was now living in the lap of luxury. Or maybe he came to Nice because he thought it said Mice.

          Eventually we came home. I showed my ticket to the flight attendant and said, “2B?” She pointed out the way, and then I winked. “Or not 2B?” 

           She needs to buy mybooks. Especially A Little Christmas Prayer, the perfect Christmas gift.