Is Your Blinker Still On? And Can it Do This?

          Yes, we’ve all thought about our car’s blinkers. Some of us have not used them lately (thank you, not), but most of us are pretty good at indicating we are planning to turn.

          However, St. Bob and I just bought a new car and I have discovered an unmentioned fabulous feature: Blinkers that sound like the coconuts in Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail.

          Yes, every time I turn my blinkers on, I picture Arthur “galloping” up to the castle with his trusty servant, Patsy. He wants to ask the master of the castle if he’d like to join his court at Camelot.

Alas, having no horses, Arthur’s got Patsy banging two empty coconut halves together as they run along, trying to simulate the sound of galloping. Hilarious.

The guard at the top of the castle questions him about where he got the coconuts, England being a temperate climate and coconuts being tropical. Another guard joins the discussion, as they argue about birds that could migrate carrying heavy coconuts, and Arthur finally gives up, “galloping” away.

It's usually just in time for me to make my turn.

But if you’re home—not in your car—you can watch hundreds of short life hacks on my Youtube Mom channel!

Making a Brincadeira

          The other day we went to a party (despite that one of my Seminary students recently and wistfully said, “You’re old enough that you probably don’t get invited to many parties anymore.”)

          I was in the buffet line—of course—and the man next to me introduced me to his wife, who was from Brazil.  “Oh!” I said, “I have a friend who lived there for many years and she speaks Brazilian.”  Even as I said that, I knew my brain was searching for the correct word, ‘cause Brazilian ain’t it!

          The wife graciously smiled and didn’t correct me.

          But after I had gone through the line, the word Portuguese popped into my head, and I dashed outside on the patio to find her and apologize.

          I was so eager to do this that I bumped into her chair. Now I needed to apologize for two things. So I did, and she was very kind. But then she asked my name. 

          Yikes—until now I was hoping she would forget who I was, not re-tell the embarrassing story, certainly not flesh it out with an actual name. So I gave it to her.

And I couldn’t help thinking, maybe my seminary student was right: Maybe we won’t get invited to many parties anymore!

But if you’re at home instead of making the social circuit, take a look at my Youtube Mom videos, filled with handy life hacks! Click right here: https://m.youtube.com/c/jonihilton

Bullseye

 St. Bob just came home with this:

          Yes, it’s a target from a gun range, and those little holes will tighten up next time because he just had shoulder surgery and had to hold his pistol with one hand. He was actually not happy with this result.

          He was a sharpshooter in the military, so of course I told the kids he was the sharpshooter of ALL the military branches. But, in my defense, this could have been true. Had he not been so handsome and engaging, he could have ended up as a sniper instead of a game show host.

          And then he married me. Have you ever seen me throw darts?

          No, you have not. It looks as though I couldn’t even see the target, and aimed at the surrounding wall instead.

          But I’m consistent. If I throw a wad of paper towards a garbage can, it will miss the can every time.

          It’s the same with basketballs, baseballs-- basically any ball-- but especially guns. It’s a complete waste of ammunition to let me try shooting. But don’t worry—I have wasp spray in case someone breaks into the house. It can shoot 20 feet, sprays out like a shotgun, and drops an intruder to his knees.  Not only that, but it saves getting multiple holes in the walls.

         Aren’t you glad I’m not into hatchet throwing?

          Take a shot at my Youtube Mom videos—you’ll hit something great every time!