Mea Culpa

           Nothing panics a woman like a lost purse. 

The other day I was at church, wandering about before the meeting began, chatting with friends. One of them wanted to set a date for a comical women’s night starring guess who. 

“Oh, let me grab my calendar,” I said. I use an old-school pocket daytimer, so I headed back to my pew to get it.  There it was, my black handbag. I sat down and opened it up.

But what was this—my wallet was missing? Oh, no—it probably fell out in the parking lot!  No calendar, either.  And a totally different lip balm—wait a second. 

 This wasn’t even my purse! Aghast, I hurriedly closed it up and put it back on the bench, then scurried two rows up to my real purse.  Meanwhile, my eyes were darting about to see who might own the decoy handbag. But nobody stepped up.

And I just want to apologize to whomever it is that owns Evidence Bag #1—I truly am sorry I went pawing through your purse. I just hope you don’t own a car that looks like mine and that I haven’t accidentally gotten inside that one as well.

With any luck, she was busy watching one of my Youtube Mom videos. I can only hope.

White Out

           You know that thing, where you buy a new car, and suddenly you see that same model car everywhere?

          Well, my variation on that is seeing cars the same color, and it’s causing me to get lost in a parking lot full of white cars.

          St. Bob loves to buy cars (mostly he loves to negotiate), but generally he gets me white ones. And this must be true of all other car buyers, because everywhere I go, this is what it looks like:

Or this, minus the ocean: 

          I honestly snapped this photo myself when I last went to Hobby Lobby:

          In a café, I overheard a woman say she was so embarrassed that she had tried to get into the wrong car, and I thought, Once?  You’ve only done this once?  I must do that once every two weeks!

          If someone followed me with a security camera they would probably call the cops because I appear to be trying to steal one vehicle after another.

          But it would really help if the rest of you would stop purchasing white cars and get a little adventurous with the colors.  Thank you.

Instead of buying white cars, how about staying home and watching my Youtube Mom videos?  (Though none are about how to solve the white car problem.)