Okay, I’ve been thinking about criminals again. They fascinate most of us, which is why there are so many detective movies and TV shows. Who would have the guts to do the things they do, right?
You might recall this post some time ago, about the various crimes that could have explained what I found in my bathtub.
But today I’m thinking about how deftly criminals seem to escape the odds.
For example, in big urban areas where there are muggings, how come a mugger never gets mugged? A pickpocket never loses his latest treasure to another pickpocket, either. How do they beat these odds?
Let’s say a burglar breaks into your home. I have never once heard of him finding another burglar already there. “Sorry, Mate,” he says—I’ve made him British—“Didn’t see your name on the calendar.”
“No worries,” the fellow replies. “Can you help me lift this TV?”
Crazed killers never run into other crazed killers, either. I imagine it would be a buzz-saw showdown, but no. They somehow manage to skirt around the other lunatic’s territory.
Which brings me to my theory that this is why it’s called Organized Crime. They have secret calendars (online of course) where they “dibs” certain days, times, and addresses. An old criminal with bad knees coordinates the entire enterprise, and gets a cut of the proceeds.
And that is how they never overlap. You’re welcome.
You might want to stack a bunch of my books near your TV, for them to get engrossed reading, and then you can catch them.