Tuesday, May 26, 2020

What's in a Name?

          St. Bob got into television when he was 15 years old. He lived in Lake Charles, Louisiana and was the guy who introduced cartoons on a local TV station there.  He dressed up as an Emmett Kelly-style clown, and because of his height and the “old man voice” he used, no one knew a kid was hosting the show.
          The station decided to have  a contest to name the clown, but they could never choose a name. So “No Name the Clown” stuck.  
          The other day I came across a stash of old photos and newspaper clippings about him.  Kids would gather around at the studio (think of the Howdy Doody crowds) and Bob would interview them, joke around, and basically just be himself.
          Kids joined his fan  club:     
          In the pile of adorable fan letters were valentines and letters from girls who undoubtedly loved No Name.
          “We ought to go back there!” I announced. I mean, after the lockdown  is over. “We should have a No Name reunion where all the kids who used to love your show could come and meet you. They’d be thrilled to see No Name again.”
          Bob just stared at me. “Okay, that’s the first five minutes. Then what?”
          I thought for a bit. “Well, then they die happy because they met their hero.” And I, of course, could vicariously enjoy their excitement.
          Suffice it to say that no one can roll their eyes like a true clown.
And if you want to see his camera work, check out my Youtube Mom videos—all shot by No Name himself! (Check out Bob Hilton  on Wikipedia, too.)

Tuesday, May 19, 2020

First Pluto, Now This!

          You know how upset I was when Pluto was stripped of its planet status? I wrote about that and a bunch of similar disappointments here.
          But now two of my childhood songs are exposed as having entirely different meanings than what I was taught.
          You already know that I attended a laboratory grade school  on the USU campus, and one of the things they did in Kindergarten was to introduce us to French. No, I cannot speak French. But I love—and sing-- these two little songs with French roots. You probably know them, too.
One is Frere Jacque and the other is Alouette. Here’s the skinny.
Frere Jacque is about a Catholic friar. In English he’s called Brother John. I was taught that he was sleeping in, and some kind person is trying to wake him up because “morning bells are ringing.”  But no. He is a slacker who is supposed to be pulling the rope in the bell tower to remind the other monks to pray. Turns out he is literally sleeping on the job.
Alouette is about a little bird. I thought we were singing about a perky little fellow who was helping us learn the words for head, nose, eyes, wings, tail, and so on.  Ha!  Spoiler alert: This is a cheery tune about plucking the feathers off a poor little lark so he can be sliced up for cooking!
Ah, innocence shattered.  And don’t even get me started on nursery rhymes. (And yes, this is why I wrote the book, “LDS NURSERY RHYMES”).
Check out that book and many more at my website. Then take a gander at my short Youtube Mom videos. I promise not to sing about laziness or butchering.

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Covid 19 Mystery Solved!

I have finally figured it out. Every day when I look in the mirror I think, “This hairdo looks familiar.”  And it’s not because I see myself each day. I just realized it’s because I have a COVID-19 hairdo!  I literally look like that image of the virus we’ve all seen on  TV:
          Seriously, this is how my hair grew in after cancer chemo!  It’s so curly tight and spiky that it looks extra-terrestrial or at least extra viral.
          Liquid Amber trees produce similar-looking pods. If you step on one barefoot, you'll remember it:
          I also share my hot looks with the spiny anteater:
          And the porcupine fish:
          I can put on a hat, but then I resemble Bozo the Clown:
          Oh, well. At least I don’t have to worry about social distancing. People  will see the Coronavirus coming their way and head for the hills (just don’t step on any spiny pods while you’re there!)
          You can see my quills in my latest YoutubeMom videos—although I tried to plaster them down with water!

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Don't I Know You?

I think we’re all turning into Bigfeet, which I assume is the plural of Bigfoot. 
Everyone I talk to is telling me about their shaggy hair,
          Their out-of-control eyebrows,
          Their hairy legs,
          And let’s not forget their attempt to hide, during this pandemic. 
          You know all these ungroomed people you see when you have to brave the world and go to the supermarket? Maybe they’re not regular people at all. Maybe there’s been a population explosion in the Sasquatch community, and now they’re in every state!
          Maybe that’s even why they’re wearing masks, so you won’t catch on.
          But I do think we should have a Yeti-Lookalike contest and crown a Yeti Betty or something. She—or he—could be the COVID-19 mascot!
          It’s okay if you’re still in your pajamas. Sounds like the perfect time to curl up with one of my books!