How did you choose your career? You went into something that interested you,
right? Some field where you showed some
talent. I’m betting you did not get your marching orders from the
aptitude tests we took in junior high.
Remember
those? They would ask, “Would you rather
repair a dishwasher or eat a Twinkie?”
Who has a hard time answering this question? Or “Would you rather read a book or fire
someone?” Seriously? How about, “Would you rather take this test,
or read a book while eating a Twinkie?”
Pages of
this claptrap later, they tabulated our responses and told the math kids to go
into math and the verbal kids to go into law.
Like we couldn’t have figured this out on our own.
But I have
a theory that there are lobbyists for unusual careers who finagled their jobs
into the recommended lists as well.
Several of my classmates were advised to work on oil rigs, in mines,
sweeping up in a bakery, and driving people to the airport.
How about gluing ads to billboards? Or working the appointment desk at the
passport office? These are all legit
means of employment, it’s just hard for me to imagine a test that identifies
the perfect candidate for them.
However,
the one I found most appalling was the one my son, Cassidy, came home
with. “It says I should be a clown,” he
reported.
You don’t
say. Now, granted this boy is highly
entertaining, but couldn’t the test
makers have steered him into something that’s still in show biz, but a little
more likely to support a family? Clown?
Really? It’s not that it’s
illegal, and I’m not criticizing clowns per se, but I wrote here about the
likelihood of actually surviving in this field.
What would
they advise a kid who’s good with money—to become a bank robber or a loan
shark? If a teenager enjoys target
practice would you recommend “hit man”?
And if they show artistic talent, would you suggest “graffiti artist”? How about a person who understands anatomy
and business—should “drug dealer” be on their list of potential careers? I can only imagine the delighted reactions of
the parents of computer wiz kids who bring home “hacker” as a choice to
consider.
It’s
enough to make me want to repair a dishwasher.
Although I have plenty to say about how to load one, line one, clean one, and so on. Just check out my channel where I'm the YouTube Mom, dispensing short videos that teach life skills you never knew you were missing.
The other day I came across a
stash of old photos and newspaper clippings about him. Kids would gather around at the studio (think
of the Howdy Doody crowds) and Bob would interview them, joke around, and
basically just be himself.
Kids joined his fan club: 
In
the pile of adorable fan letters were valentines and letters from girls who undoubtedly loved No Name.
