Bullseye

 St. Bob just came home with this:

          Yes, it’s a target from a gun range, and those little holes will tighten up next time because he just had shoulder surgery and had to hold his pistol with one hand. He was actually not happy with this result.

          He was a sharpshooter in the military, so of course I told the kids he was the sharpshooter of ALL the military branches. But, in my defense, this could have been true. Had he not been so handsome and engaging, he could have ended up as a sniper instead of a game show host.

          And then he married me. Have you ever seen me throw darts?

          No, you have not. It looks as though I couldn’t even see the target, and aimed at the surrounding wall instead.

          But I’m consistent. If I throw a wad of paper towards a garbage can, it will miss the can every time.

          It’s the same with basketballs, baseballs-- basically any ball-- but especially guns. It’s a complete waste of ammunition to let me try shooting. But don’t worry—I have wasp spray in case someone breaks into the house. It can shoot 20 feet, sprays out like a shotgun, and drops an intruder to his knees.  Not only that, but it saves getting multiple holes in the walls.

         Aren’t you glad I’m not into hatchet throwing?

          Take a shot at my Youtube Mom videos—you’ll hit something great every time!