My Brilliant Christmas Idea

             Okay, hear me out. Not all of us get our entire families together on Christmas. There are trade-off agreements with in-laws and exes, work schedules, travel expenses, and all kinds of reasons why your family might be missing a few people this year.

            But here’s the solution: Bump the holiday. Hey, Jesus wasn’t even born in December; we all know that. So pick the next weekend, or the next one when flight costs return to normal.

            You’ll still have all the wonderful times together, the memories, the wacky disasters you’ll laugh at for years. They just don’t have to happen on the exact date of Christmas. Then BOTH sides of the family get the excitement of opening gifts, enjoying a feast together, singing carols, taking selfies in front of the tree, making a gingerbread house, playing games, re-enacting the nativity, and all the other traditions you hold dear. You can even take advantage of the after-Christmas sales!

             Brilliant, right? I know. Meanwhile, how about a holiday for neuro-divergent thinkers who come up with this ingenious stuff?

            And check out my Youtube Mom videos—hundreds of quick life hacks you’ll love.

Currying Favor

           I’ve told you before that our four kids are comedians. Not professionally, just happenstance-ily.

          We were on a Facetime call last weekend, all sharing what’s new in our lives, when Nicole mentioned that she is seeing someone, and that he brought curry over and they watched a documentary by a Swedish guy with a Hispanic name.

          “What was in the curry?” everyone wanted to know.  She listed a few ingredients.

          “That’s good that he can cook,” someone said.

          “And why does the Swedish documentary guy have a Spanish name?”

          She pointed out that lots of people who live in Sweden are from somewhere else.

          I frowned. I like the dolls in It’s a Small World to stay in their assigned spots. No hula dancers wiggling off to the igloo area, no one in a sombrero joining the can-can dancers.

          There were more questions about the curry. What kind of rice? How was the meat seasoned?

          Someone asked our daughter-in-law, Tiffany, about her upcoming yoga retreat and she said that her students’ trauma was a heavy thing for them to carry.

          “Especially when they have to carry it doing all those hard poses,” Brandon pointed out.

          Then Cassidy asked Brandon how many kids he has (which is zero), and complimented him on his Dad joke.

          “I like how Nicole mentioned she’s seeing someone, and all anyone asked about was the curry,” I said.

          “Well, and the documentary,” Brandon added. Yes, good point. Another successful family gathering.

Have you seen my latest Youtube Mom videos?  Hundreds of life hacks you can watch right where you’re sitting. With or without your family.

Funny Business

         If you’re a frequent reader, you know that all our kids are hilarious.

And quick. We’re planning a trip with them and I can’t wait.

          Meanwhile, here’s a sampling of what I can look forward to:

          (On a Zoom call, trying to plan the next one):

          Cassidy: Seven is okay, but that would be 8 o’clock here.

          Richie: Oh, that’s right. Because you live in the future.

          (Texting when I thanked them for the new computer they gave me for my birthday):

          Cassidy: Glad it’s better than the last one! A big thank you goes to Richie for seeing you needed it and knowing what to get you as well.

          Brandon: Fine. Thank you Richie.

          These are the same monkeys who try to come up with the most ridiculous things imaginable, when we go around the Thanksgiving table and say what we’re grateful for.

          And who made me worry through a whole vacation.

          And who used a fake name at a solemn ceremony.

          And who cracked joke after joke about my chemo.

           And who ruined all my clothes by giving them crazy names.

          I can only imagine what lies in store when we get all these kids together. Stay tuned!

          Meanwhile, check out my website where you can find all my books and a link to my Youtube Mom videos!

Ever Tried This Christmas Tradition?

          We all have holiday traditions, right? It seems mine is to have major medical procedures on them. My main cancer surgery was right before Thanksgiving last year, followed by another two surgeries right before Christmas. Then I started chemo on Valentine’s Day. I think radiation began on St. Bob’s birthday, and now I’m having reconstructive surgery right before Christmas again. I sure know how to get out of cooking a giant feast!

          However, as you read this I am now back from a lengthy hospital stay and am enjoying a whole new tradition: Christmas fireworks. At least that’s what I am anticipating as ALL of our wonderful grown children are with us (hasn’t happened in a long time!) and it’s up to them to cook. One is vegan, one is keto, one avoids glutin, one likes junk food and one hates to cook. Should be hilarious. (Plus varied political views which I have told them to keep to themselves but you know how that works.)

          I’m thinking I will pull up a nearby chair, sit there in my pain-med-induced stupor, and enjoy the entertainment.  

St. Bob has planned a wonderful day for them: Zip-lining, rock climbing, and a Via Ferrata rope challenge at the local Quarry Park Adventures. But I fully expect our plans to get rained out. Plus I looked at the website, saw the words “Free Fall,” and now I’m praying for snow. One Christmas hospital visit is enough, right?

Even though it’s Christmas Eve, you can order a sleigh-ful of my Christmas booklet, A Little Christmas Prayer. You can enjoy it throughout the season (hopefully without any injuries) and even stock up early, for next year.

Thank you, Thank you!

          Today I’m feeling purely grateful.  Yes, I know this is a humor blog, but it’s also a blog for readers of my books, to give them a peek into my often hilarious life. So I have to press pause on the humor button this week, just to express my gratitude for the frequent sources of that very humor—my husband and kids.  We have so many laughs together, and tons of love.

Here are three photos from their Christmas visit this week.  Yes, we welcomed Brandon’s Great Dane, Odin, into the house as well.  Here are Richie, Brandon, Cassidy and his wife, our adored daughter-in-law Tiffany, and Nicole. These pictures show us at church on Christmas Day, at Top Golf, 

and at Beat the Room here in Rocklin.

I love you guys, and I miss you already!  

Start the New Year off right, and order my books for those chilly winter days when you just want to stay in with a cup of hot chocolate, a blanket, and a great story!