Mirror, Mirror

           Women have a love/hate relationship with magnifying mirrors. We all want one so we can see our faces super duper close, but then we gasp and shriek, aghast at what we see.

          You’ll have pores that look like the Sea of Tranquility on the moon. Except you won’t feel tranquil.

         
         You’ll see tiny hairs that look like telephone poles. Could a bird perch there?

          It’s like a microscope. Do you REALLY want to see the cells of your veins?  Isn’t this why skin is opaque in the first place?

          When you look into a magnifying mirror, you see things no one else will ever see.  And, if you choose older friends, they’re even less likely to see.    

This was one benefit of wearing masks during Covid. At least the bottom half of our faces was covered and we saved all kinds of money on lipstick.

 
          I say we chuck the magnifiers and see if there are minimizers. Meet up with friends on a sunny day when everyone’s wearing sunglasses and you’ve got it made. 

Put down that mirror that makes you frown, and pick up one of my books, which will make you laugh. You can find them all on my website. 😊

         

 

Exercise Made Easy

          People who spend a fortune on exercise equipment have no idea how inexpensive fitness can actually be.  Here are three ways I get zillions of extra steps into my day:

          Step one:  Buy a water bottle.  This is mine, set on my desk in front of my “Youtube Mom” sign. 

          We won’t even count the steps you took to buy the thing, just the steps you will take afterwards. BECAUSE IT WILL NEVER BE WHERE YOU THOUGHT YOU LEFT IT.  You will walk all over the house, upstairs and down, out to the car, back in again to the kitchen, out onto the patio hunting for it, and FINALLY you will see it in the laundry room or some other unlikely location.

          Step two: Live where it’s sunny.  This will force you to buy sunglasses, which will also vanish into thin air and cause you to walk all over, looking everywhere they could possibly be. Finally you will find them on your head.

              Step three: Believe that you must have your cell phone within reach at all times (this requires no imagination, but instead the ridiculous belief that you much be reachable in an instant, by anyone). Suddenly discover that you cannot see your phone and dash through the house in an aerobic workout that will get your heart pumping more than an escape from an armed robber.            Ultimately ask someone else to call you, then listen for the ring tone that will guide you on a stretch under the sofa to retrieve the lost phone.  This can also prove profitable if you don’t sweep under there very often, and you entertain guests who keep coins in their pockets.

          See? Not only have I saved you money, but I’ve made you money.  Ka-ching!

          Now you can spend it on my books.