Double Trouble

           St. Bob was just in Mississippi.  As executor of his brother’s estate, he had to fly there for meetings with bankers and attorneys, and naturally had to rent this car:         

         But if you look closely you’ll notice he promptly got not one, but TWO flat tires from a local pothole.  It also prompted our son, Richie, to text, “You shouldn’t drive if you’re two-tired.” 

          However, this problem pales in comparison to what happened next. The rental company brought him a replacement, but when he opened the door to get in, there was a gigantic spider in the hinge!

          It would quickly scoot back towards the engine area, so Bob could never capture it to get rid of it. He drove that car for days, always playing hide-and-seek with this spider.

          I would not get in the first time!  Nope, nope, nope.

           I would call the rental company and ask them to bring me a third car, a spiderless vehicle to swap out with this death trap. Had I been with St. Bob on this trip, I would have refused to get in and sit down in this already-occupied space.

          But, with my luck, they’d bring me a Batmobile.     

    Hey, if you're ever stuck on the side of a road, first get away from all spiders. Then tune in to my Youtube Mom videos-- there are hundreds of them!

I Could Never Be Miss Muffet

           You will not believe what just happened to me. Okay, maybe you’ll believe it if you are a regular Joniopolis reader, because crazy things happen here.

I just had a spider get caught in my Covid mask WHILE  I WAS WEARING IT!

I was talking with a woman, also wearing a mask, and we were outdoors, six feet apart. We were doing everything right. And then suddenly she stepped toward me, pulled my mask down, and said, “A spider just fell into your mask!” Mind you, this mask is on tight, with elastic bands over my ears, holding it against my face.

St. Bob was there and the two of them brushed the hideous intruder off my face and onto the ground. I looked up—the sky was clear and there was nothing this spider could have leapt from.

I thanked them for saving my life (although I was about to die of fright), and then I wondered where on earth that spider had come from. Had it been in my ultra-curly chemo hair, which my daughter compares to Top Ramen? 

Was there a whole spider family there, just waiting to attack, or to lower themselves on silken threads and scare the daylights out of me?

I am not afraid of snakes or mice, but spiders do me in. I blogged about the Orb Spider here.  But now I can’t even post a real photo of a spider or I’ll have nightmares. So I have to post cartoon spiders instead.

And imagine if Bob and that woman hadn’t seen it! That spider could have bitten me on the lips! Or crawled up my nose, into my brain, and bitten my cerebellum! And laid eggs!                  

So if you see me with a mask completely duct taped around the edges so NOTHING can get in, you’ll know why.

On a much less terrifying note, my book, A Little Christmas Prayer makes the perfect gift (super low price,too!)  Sometimes it takes a child to raise a village, and this tale teaches anyone, of any faith, the magic of gratitude. Might be good for everyone on your list!