Packing it Up

           Most of you have already packed up your holiday décor. But a friend just called me and said she thinks she needs an intervention. She has way too much Christmas clutter and can’t part with any of it.

          Sound familiar? Just this year I told St. Bob that we should use this “re-packing” opportunity to throw away the stuff we scarcely use anymore.

          I think I came up with two tiny items. Two. Tiny.  You know the theory that you should toss or donate everything which doesn’t bring joy? Well, every bit of this brings joy—that’s its whole purpose.

          “It looks like Santa threw up in my living room,” my friend said.

          I told her I couldn’t come and help because I would bring empty bins, say that I’m loading them up for Goodwill, and then secretly keep them all.

          When I devoted one bedroom to Christmas all year, I used a number of decorations. So, you’d think it would thin down my storage. But no. How do I still have the same number of boxes as before?

          Finally, I came up with the perfect solution and shared it with my pal. “You don’t have too much stuff,” I said. “You have too few houses.”

          And that’s the best I can do.

          But hundreds of quick life hacks can be yours—including ones about organizing—right here on my Youtube Mom channel.

Getting Around

             Circles don’t get enough credit for all they do.  This wonderful, round shape has come in handy throughout history.

            Take horse training. If you don’t use a round pen, horses will go into the corner and stop. They are smarter than most people think, and will try to get out of training.

            You get more structural stability with round shape designs; they have given us gears, wheels, and arches.

            They’re all around. We see this favored shape in dishes, plates, clocks, planets, cakes, buttons, camera lenses, pizzas, rings, pies, steering wheels, the tip of a pen, telescopes, microscopes, and even the pupils in your eye, from which you are reading this.

            They keep traffic moving in roundabouts, and they keep manhole covers from falling into the sewer.

          Circles were essential for developing geometry, astronomy, and calculus. The circle symbolizes harmony, eternity, and perfection.

            Last, a circle is the most popular shape for cookies. Need I say more?

            So let’s hear it for the circle! And you can blow through your party whistle which is, yes, also a circular shape.

            Check out my Youtube Mom life hack videos on my channel right here!

Christmas Done Wrong

           Folks, just as you were sipping hot chocolate in the soft light of your Christmas tree, or listening to happy carolers at your door, a friend of mine was attending an entirely different kind of Christmas Eve: Her grandson and his wife
got hauled off to jail.

          Yes, it was one of those moments when the needle scratches the record and a drunken brawl occurred. Insults were shouted, spit was spat, fists were formed and knuckleheads were knocked. Alcohol, not surprisingly, played a starring role.

          As she was telling me this, I was thinking, “So they probably cancelled the nativity reenactment.” 

          And their four kids were left to wonder just how naughty one has to be, for Santa to boycott their entire event.

          But my friend had already distributed gifts, and when she called me I assured her that, 20 years from now, this will be the hilarious story those kids tell.

I gave her the advice I give all innocent bystanders: “Get some chocolate ice cream, sit down in a comfy chair, put your feet up, and watch whatever you want on television. You had no part in this.”

And you know what? That’s exactly what she did. Well played, Grandma.

She’s probably watching one of my Youtube Mom life hack videos right now!

Not Enough Bandwidth

         
If any of you have ever seen one of these:

           Then we are comrades in pain, treating a sore sacrum with a tight belt that brings a bit of relief.

          So the other night I felt pretty good, and left it off. Thinking St. Bob would be happy for me, I said, “I slept without the band last night.”

But no. He said, “Me too; I just sang a capella.” 

 
There is no reigning in his brain.

This conversation went on. I stepped into the bathroom where he was sitting on a chair, tying his shoes. My phone rang, which is the tune of the cartoon show, The Jetsons, which I enjoyed as a child.

Bob looked up, “Who is this George Jetson and why is he announcing himself in my bathroom?”

Maybe he wants to report that he slept without wearing a band. If so, I will tell him he just found a way to beat the band.

And you can learn all kinds of life hacks right here, on my Youtube Mom channel!

My Latest Lucy Moment

           I just got back from my Book Club’s Christmas gathering. We always meet at someone’s home for a luncheon, and someone else does a book review. But for Christmas, we all share Christmas books and stories we love, and even gift ideas.

          This time we met at the lovely home of a new member, about 30 minutes away for most of the gals. Her pretty home has been in magazines. Here are a few pics, before I tell you what happened:

          Driving off, I noticed Tina was pulled over.  I pulled up beside her and rolled my window down. “Just stay on this street until you hit Sunset, then turn left,” I called.

          And then, as I drove off, I noticed she was following me in her car. I thought I'd continue to wave at each turn, to help her find the freeway. A friendly, helpful thing to do, right? 

          We actually made several turns, and I waited for her to catch up a couple of times. Everything was going great until we got to Sunset. I looked over and realized IT WASN'T EVEN HER! 

             Yes, I had been motioning to a total stranger in a similar car, who probably thought I was complete lunatic. Or a creeper. Or a combination of both (a creepatic?)  She certainly didn’t suspect that I was being friendly or helpful.

          I sighed. It was anyone’s guess where Tina actually was. Probably way ahead of me.  So… if you need help finding your way, just dial

                                                  1-800-LucyStrikesAgain.

          And you might want to order my books. Check ‘em out here.

A Hairy Problem

          St. Bob is on a quest.  He wants to buy the shampoo and conditioner they have on Viking cruise lines.  He is this close to booking another cruise, just to get their hair products.

          Now, as a reasonable person, you might think these items could be for sale online.  Not a chance. Oh, sure, some traveler may be trying to sell theirs on ebay, but are those opened? Old? Germy?

          He called the company and spoke to someone in charge of such things, and was told that even he—the “in charge” guy—couldn’t acquire them.  Like giant diamonds in a hidden vault in a hidden warehouse, it simply couldn’t be done.

          Well, you try not to tell St. Bob that something can’t be done. He picks up that challenge, puts it on, and does battle with the impossible dream. And sings it.

          Meanwhile, I am calculating what it would cost, per ounce, to go on another cruise just to get the shampoo and conditioner. I’m figuring several thousand dollars per container.

          Maybe this is why some people sell their homes and just cruise for the rest of their lives. They may not see loved ones for awhile, but their hair looks awesome.

It's not too late-- grab a few copies of my super-inexpensive book, A Little Christmas Prayer to give as gifts. 

I Yam What I Yam

           I love food fights. Let me clarify. I don’t love it when people throw food (or fling mashed potatoes throughout the kitchen by lifting the beaters out of the bowl too soon, St. Bob), but I love what we could call a “Food Dispute.”

          I’ll back up. I had the immense blessing of reconnecting with a long lost cousin, and he brought his family for Thanksgiving. It was magical, like a Hallmark movie. People I have never met poured through the front door and every one of them was happy, smart, and hilarious. It made for lots of laughter and love as 18 of us gathered around.

          We played a game I made up, which gets you beyond small talk, to really get acquainted. First you ask everyone to share something they don’t understand. The whole world seems to get it, except you.  Then we go around and share something you know, or can do, that few others can do. (I curled my tongue in a clover leaf.) Here's someone else doing it:

          One couple began a friendly disagreement about yams vs. sweet potatoes, where they come from, and why they are called what they are called. Neither one would concede an inch. The rest of us were bursting with laughter as it escalated (and now we know what topic to bring up in the future, if things get dull).

          If you want, I can tell you how all this confusion started, but it won’t earn you any points in an argument. What we buy-- the soft-fleshed veggie labeled “Yams”-- are actually sweet potatoes. But slaves who had come from West Africa compared them to the paler-fleshed yams they had grown back home, and the name stuck.

          As for me, I am thankful for both, thankful for all the new cousins I met, and thankful for Richie and Nicole, our only two kids who could make it this year, because they hopped up without even being asked, did all the dishes, and packed up take-home trays for everyone.  I may have over-eaten, but that’s the real reason I was bursting my buttons.

Buy a dozen copies of my super inexpensive book, ALittle Christmas Prayer and hand them out (just $3.49) Great gift for kids or adults, really anyone.