SNAP! CRACKLE! POP! - No, it's not cereal

           Just today, St. Bob finally tells me that my enjoyment of Spike Jones was one of the things that attracted him to me.

          Seriously?  He was looking for someone who appreciated craziness? Well, apparently so.

          A high school friend introduced me to the comedy music of Spike Jones, but most people today have never heard his clever spoofs. I guess he was the Weird Al of the 1940s.  He was actually a very talented musician, but loved to include sound effects, such as gunshots, cowbells, whistles, hiccups, animal sounds and more, along with comedic vocals in his band’s tunes.

          He actually didn’t think it would catch on, but people loved his wild arrangements and he became a huge success on radio, TV, and in movies.

          I guess it’s no surprise that St. Bob, who began his own television career in junior high, as a clown who introduced cartoons on TV, would feel a kindred spirit with someone else who liked to make people laugh.

          Now I’m waiting for St. Bob to tell me another thing he liked about me was my ADHD, my klutziness, and my impatience. But I might have to settle for just the Spike Jones thing.

          Hey, are you caught up on all my Youtube Mom videos? I have hundreds of quick life hacks, you know. Subscribe and tell your friends to do the same, so I can hit 10,000!

                   

In the Groove

          I am so cutting edge, such a trendsetter, than I’ve been writing lyrics for Bob Marley and Ariel Pink.  Okay, I’ve been doing it after they already had the same ideas, but still.  I’m dialed in. 

          Speaking of dialed in, do young people today even know what that means? Nobody uses a dial; it’s all buttons.  Whatever.

          But back to me. Twice in one week I’ve been told that I’m speaking the lines from two popular songs. (This could be happening ALL THE TIME, right?)

          First I learned that Ariel Pink has a song called “Baby,” where he sings, “You’re so baby.”  Excuse me? I have been uttering this to our Chihuahua mix for years.  Mr. Pink probably overheard me.

          And then I was complaining about a blender—remember I’m vegan now, and making smoothies like a fiend—and I said it kept “jammin’, jammin’, jammin’.” That is an exact quote AND, my daughter tells me, the lyrics to a Bob Marley song.

          Yes, I am totally hip and clairvoyant to boot. (Does anyone who is actually hip use the phrase, ‘to boot’?) Yessir, I am definitely on the right track.  Of course, as Will Rogers once said, “You might be on the right track, but you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” And yes, I expect young people to know who he was.

Check out my YouTube Mom channel--hundreds of fun life hacks in short videos. But so far, none on how to channel various rock stars and their lyrics.

10 Times When it's Okay to Let Kids Quit

          It’s the end of summer vacation.  Parents the world over have been hauling their kids to lessons, sports, and music as we try to fill their days with enriching opportunities, right?  And it won’t stop just because school is starting.  Many families continue all these commitments year round.

          But what if the kids hate it, or it just isn’t a good fit? We don’t want them to have a quitter mentality, so when is it okay to let kids resign? After raising four kids, here’s my list of when it’s perfectly okay to say stop:

1.       When the piano teacher says, “Honey, wouldn’t you like to try tap?” (Yes, this happened to me, and yes, I have used it in one of my novels.)

2.      When he starts following the chalk line during a soccer game. (Yes, one of our sons did this.)

3.       When she picks a bouquet in the outfield. (Another sport, another child.)

4.      When it’s clear he only wanted to take karate for the “costume.” (Take your bows, two eldest boys.)

5.       When cats gather at your doorway during violin practice.

6.      When the coach is the most immature person at the pool and throws a chair in anger. (High school water polo.)

7.       When her pet breeding hobby yields 28 extra guinea pigs. (Yep, happened right upstairs.)

8.      When his science experiments involves gun powder or gasoline. (Two kitchens still bear the scars.)

9.      When the coach assigns him to do everyone else’s laundry.

10.     When you’re still trying to get him to break the 20-minute mile.

Let’s face it, not every activity fits every kid.  But books do, and I’ve written something for everyone.  Check ‘em out here.

Cows vs. Transformers

          Here’s what’s wrong with the world today:  We don’t have enough dancing cows.  Make that dancing and whistling cows, where little black eighth notes come floating out of their round lips.

          I blame the cartoon producers.  It used to be you could watch any number of cows with giant nostrils, dancing in ruffled aprons, to a great old jazz song, like “Holiday for Strings.”  Mice in tiny vests would scamper about to a Brahms Hungarian dance, while Bugs Bunny would conduct Von Suppe and pigs would play tubas.  Liszt’s rhapsodies, Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata”, Strauss, Rossini—they were all part of a happy childhood where equally dazzling animation brought every note to life. 

Most of these classics were made in the 1930s-1950s, but they continued to entertain into the 1970s, when—WHAM!  Cartoons suddenly became all about taking over the world.  The humor dropped out, the animation became stilted; it was as if all the writers and artists had died, and left cartoon-making to control freaks with Etch A Sketches.  Marketing departments saw how much money they could make selling action figures, lunchboxes, bedsheets, and backpacks, and kids were fed a steady stream of programming that led them to purchasing.

Not only that, but scientists discovered kids weren’t playing make believe with as much imagination, anymore.  Their toys stayed in the same character dictated by the cartoon shows, and storylines stayed in the same rut of vanquishing the enemy (cue the explosions).  Soon videogames popped up, even more violence-based than cartoons, and well, soon the only place you could find a cow was in the form of a Big Mac.

Gone are the incredible voices of Mel Blanc and Clarence Nash (the original Donald Duck).  I had the privilege of interviewing Mel Blanc when I was in college, and he actually took on the appearance of the Warner Bros. characters he voiced, from Bugs Bunny to Yosemite Sam.  It was incredible.  

Clarence Nash was the uncle of my good friend, Cynthia Rhine, and I had the pleasure of meeting “Uncle Clarence,” as well.  Dapper, beaming, a twinkle in his eye—always eager to entertain kids for the sheer joy of it.

Not only that, but the cartoon characters stopped singing.  Those same dancing cows used to croon like Bing Crosby, and squirrels sang in Barbershop quartets.

Gone also are the clowns and captains of yesterday’s cartoon shows, as well.  Remember them?  They would interview children, give them prizes, and introduce the next exciting Looney Tune.  This was actually St. Bob’s first job in television.  When he was only 15, he dressed up as an Emmett Kelly-style clown and everyone thought he was a grown man, introducing cartoons on KPLC TV in Lake Charles, Louisiana. 

There was something lilting and light about yesterday’s cartoons.  The whimsical animation, the dramatic classical music.  It was dreamy, that’s what it was.  And you never hear anyone say that, anymore.

Check out Pinholes Into Heaven, one of my books, here.  It’s a literary coming-of-age novel set in the same time period.