My New Years' Gift to You

           I know Christmas is over, but in my case, the goodies linger.  We are still happily chowing down on fudge, cookies, cakes and pastries. (Yes, I could have made that list longer.)

          It isn’t that we’ve all had excellent willpower; it’s that we’ve accumulated a mountain of delights. I think I told you that when I was a little girl I wanted to be Queen Frostine from Candyland.

          But now that it’s a New Year I need to hunker down and get back to a healthier diet. All was going well until I was out running errands and needed a face mask. I found one in my purse, hurriedly put it on and was suddenly immersed in the scents of chocolate and caramel. YIKES! Busted for eating these the last time I wore the mask!

          So here’s my million-dollar idea for you: Scented Covid Masks!  (Except this one was unintentional and will only make your mouth water.)  But think of fragrances that would help you fight munchies and forget about sugar—I hear mint can work.

Or spray it with an air freshener you like. Think of scented candles. Think of ocean breezes and mountain meadows. Just don’t think of chocolate. Trust me.

You can also trust me to deliver great stories right to you door—check out my books here.

You Got Some 'Splaining to Do!

           In high school I was given a key chain that said, “Lucy,” because I would get into so many Lucy Ricardo situations. Our daughter says traveling with me through Europe is like traveling with Lucy as well. So you can imagine my excitement when I learned that the actual candy shop where they filmed this famous episode:  

is still operating, in Beverly Hills. So of course I had to visit in person when we were down there to see our son, Brandon. It’s called Edelweiss and they still sell hand-dipped chocolates packaged in a pretty sack. 

If you go behind the scenes, you can still see the conveyor belts and a picture of Lucy on one of the walls:

 

The story goes that Lucille Ball was a regular customer and was offered a behind-the-scenes tour one day. As soon as she saw the conveyor belt she called the producer, told him to drive in from Palm Springs, and see the potential for a hilarious episode. (And if home computers had existed back then, something tells me Lucy would definitely have blogged about it.)

So many of my books contain stories about my Lucy-esque life.  They make great Christmas gifts.  AND my booklet, A Little Christmas Prayer, is a perfectly priced stocking stuffer!

Treaters and a Trick

 

          Yikes. Halloween just happened but I made a HUGE mistake. I’ll explain.

          A couple of weeks before Halloween I always buy candy I don’t like, so I won’t be tempted by it as the big day approaches. But this time I decided the local kids have been through enough with Covid, so I’ll get the chocolatey candies I love.

          I dumped them into a basket.  Late in the afternoon my neighbors (the ones I have hijacked as grandkids) came over to show their cute costumes before heading across town to Trick-or-Treat with their cousins. I happily handed each of them a big candy bar.

          Then Bob and I had dinner, and settled down to watch a movie. Suddenly, at around 8:30, I gasped, “Hey! Our doorbell hasn’t rung once!” Was it because of the pandemic?

          “Oh,” St. Bob said, “That’s because I didn’t turn the porch light on.”

          WHAT? So everyone thought we weren’t participating? Oh, no! Not only do we look like the Halloween equivalent of Scrooge now, but I am stuck  with a mountain of candy I LIKE.  This is not good. I do not have that kind of willpower. All I can say is, if you run out of sweets, come to my house and I’ll be happy to replenish your stack with whatever’s left (don’t wait too long)!

          And you get double if you buy my books right here. Or watch my Youtube Mom videos filled with life hacks and DIY ideas!

Post-Halloween Irony

          Have you gobbled up all your Halloween candy, yet? (Note my Thanksgiving reference, now that it’s November.)

          First, I want to wish a Happy Birthday today, to Richie, my eldest son (now older than I am!). Note the shirt he's wearing.  I think it's perfect, because I find a bit of irony in Halloween. 

          For example, we give out “Fun Size” candies, when there is nothing fun at all in miniature versions of candy we love. Fun would be a giant candy bar (and for me, it would be vegan and sugar free! Another irony).  It’s like “Fun Run”—how can those two words be in the same sentence?

          Last week I saw the ad Crest Toothpaste has posted on Youtube and Twitter, telling kids to go ahead and eat candy, because they've got it covered. They gave the kids broccoli and beet-flavored "treats" and the kids were aghast. So this toothpaste company is urging kids to eat sugar.

          Irony is all around, of course, not just on Halloween. Have you ever seen someone post on Facebook that they wish people wouldn’t post such hostile comments, and then they get a stream of hostile responses?

          It’s like when someone says, “No offense,” but you know they mean, “I’m about to say something super offensive but I’m hoping you’ll be too oblivious to get mad about it.”

          I guess if you have to be an “-ic” it’s better to be ironic than moronic. Our dog is rarely ironic. On the other hand, she has the corner on, well, that other thing. But there’s only so much IQ you can cram into the head of a Chihuahua. She’s still lovable. Just saying.

And now that we’re officially in “the holidays” might I suggest my books? There’s something for everyone on your gift list!

Hike-or-Treat

          This will be a short blog because you have candy to buy and trick-or-treaters to please.  I simply have to share a hilarious thing they do in Norway.  Inside the wrapper of their Kit Kat-like bar are hiking tips. Yep, hiking tips:

          Not that I went off my vegan diet to learn this. Okay, I was TRAVELING, which is like the free space on a bingo card.  

          Here it is (and the chocolate is creamier than ours). Kvikk Lunsj translates to Quick Lunch:

          I had to wonder how clever these tips would be. I mean, we all have common sense, right? (Yeah, I know, it’s not all that common.)  But we could, even those of us who aren’t avid hikers, compile a list that includes “stay on the trail” and “let people know where you’re going.”

          Well, apparently not, because Freia has taken the trouble to print those very bits of advice, lest you embark upon a wilderness adventure with candy but no brains.
          Some of these nuggets of brilliance include "take into account weather," "use a map and compass," and my favorite: "Turn back around in time; there's no shame in turning around."            

          And it got me thinking—why not dispense advice in ALL candy wrappers? Who wouldn’t love that, the same way we enjoy breaking open a fortune cookie to see what it says?  So, candy makers everywhere, I issue this challenge: By next Halloween I want to give out brilliant wisdom, along with chocolate, to my trick-or-treaters!

You could also give out my books! Imagine the delight of little four-year-olds! Okay, maybe not. Although they can be devoured.