Showing posts with label alien. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alien. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 21, 2021

Oh, the Hugh Manatee!

        It’s Christmastime, so it’s time for my annual gift-making disaster story. Usually it’s a craft, but this time it’s baked goods. The first idea was to make candy cane breads that would look like this:

           But I doubled the recipe and made the loaves too large. Thus they looked like manatees (or fat otters) curling up for a nap together: 

          Not to be dissuaded from continuing with this stupid idea, I decided to make braided bread instead. More mixing. More rising.  The goal was this: 

          But it came out looking like baby aliens. This one even has a face!  

              This one looks like it landed on Santa and crushed him:


              Maybe I’ll just say, “Here’s some Alien bread. Hope your Christmas is out of this world.” 

          And you MUST buy A Little Christmas Prayer which is the ideal gift for anyone, any age, any faith. Even for a manatee.

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Oh, That Surprising Ancestry!

           Last month, for Father’s Day, the kids gave St. Bob one of those DNA testing kits that reveals you are actually your wife's third cousin. Okay, maybe not.  But it tells you the nationalities that make up your ancestry. 
          He immediately sent it in, and now we are waiting for the results.  I, of course, cannot resist speculating and if “pirate” or “clown” were actual nationalities I can see a big slice of that pie chart bearing swords and red noses.

          We’ve traced his genealogy (back to Adam on several lines, actually), and it’s mostly from the British Isles.  But it dips in and out of Scandinavia, too.   His family—many of whom came to the U.S. in the 16oos before it even was the U.S., also harbors a rumor that someone was married to a Cherokee woman, so we’re hoping for some Native American percentage, as well.
          Of course I cannot resist making a game of this, and I invited our kids to join the guessing game.  When the results finally arrive I plan to gather everyone in a big conference call, the way people in our church do when someone opens their mission call.
          Meanwhile, they are to send in their guesses. Second son Brandon’s is “1/3 English, 1/6 Scottish, 1/3 Scandinavian, 1/6 French (since Bob is from Louisiana), and the rest is probably extra  terrestrial.”
          I texted right back, “Yes!  I’ll bet you anything he’s an alien from outer space!  I may change my guess to at least half that.”

          Brandon said, “Ha ha, exactly.  If the results get delivered by men in black, you’ll know you were right.”
          So stay tuned.  Meanwhile, visit my website and watch some of my YouTube Mom videos or buy my books.  It’s summertime and you need a break!