Talking Trash

          Last week I fell into a garbage can. There, that’s my story and I am literally sticking to it.

          I wish I could tell you it’s the first time this has happened. Alas, no. It’s the third time!

          I was pushing the (thankfully empty) can up the sloped driveway and suddenly it got away from me, the wheels rolling too far under, and the next thing I knew I had hit my head on the sticky interior, and my knees were banging on the concrete. I also got a massive bruise on one elbow.

          I was so dazed that I was unable to crawl backwards to get out quickly, but I didn’t want to stay in there until someone saw me. And, of course I worried that someone could even be videotaping this whole thing. Which neighbors have security cameras? Are they pointed this way?

          Eventually I backed out and sat up, surveying the neighborhood. The coast was clear. Whew! My head was throbbing and my knees were skinned, but otherwise no damage.

          Except to my ego.

           I may have cleaned up a bit for my latest Youtube Mom videos. Check 'em out!

Trash Talk

          When it comes to Spring Cleaning, the Hiltons go big or go home.  Actually, we’re already home.  And we didn’t really plan to go this big.

          St. Bob ordered a trash bin so we could throw out my ancient potting bench, a garden lattice, some old lumber, and who-knows-what from the garage.  But when it arrived it was three times the size we expected.  It barely fit on our driveway.

          I posted it on Facebook, announcing that my new Easter basket had arrived and I hoped the Easter Bunny would fill it with chocolate.

          Naturally, Bob joked that we could use it as a swimming pool, and we immediately imagined all of us floating on inner tubes, waving to horrified neighbors, for a White Trash Christmas card photo.  Maybe some water could even leak out the sides for an added touch.

          But before we could actually implement this brilliant idea, Bob was hurling bags and boxes into the container, and in no time it was about half full. See? That makes me an optimist.

You can read my books while floating in a pool or not.  Check out all 25 of them here.