And Now a Word From Our Sponsor

           Oh my gosh. Last night my dreams were literally interrupted by commercials. Seriously—one was for insurance (got plenty, thanks) and the other was for dog food (and we do not currently have a dog).

          How is this possible? I mean, I’m dreaming along and suddenly someone else is in charge? And that someone is from Madison Avenue and they want to sell me something in the middle of the night?

          These were great dreams and I wanted to continue with them. But no, I had to stop and watch COMMERCIALS!  With no fast-forward button.  It was crazy!

          Our daughter, a therapist, thinks I’m neuro-divergent. St. Bob agrees.  He says it’s not a complaint, but that I tend to think “Superman fast,” way ahead of present time. He says I ask a question, but while the person is answering I have often moved on and even forget what question I had asked.

          When someone comes to me with a problem, rather than listen and slowly try to help them, I come up with twenty solutions and then want to move on.

          If someone is speaking too slowly, my eyes widen like I’m being tortured (and I am. I literally want to scream and fall to the floor).

          So you can imagine the agony of having to watch two entire commercials before I could return to my dream. Talk about a nightmare.

Awake in the night? This is a perfect time to watch—and subscribe to—my Youtube Mom channel! Hundreds of QUICK life hacks.

That's What Dreams Are Made Of

In my last post I told you that my back went out and I went to see Dr. Mountford, a chiropractor.  Since then I have been in many times, and we are chatting it up so much that I am worried my x-rays will come out with a blurry mouth because I cannot seem to hold it still.

          But there’s something I haven’t told him.  Oh, yes, I told him I’ve had whiplash seven times.  But I haven’t told him about the last time.  I did, however, put it in my book, Funeral Potatoes--The Novel .  Readers probably thought I was making it up, but those of you who know me know this is unnecessary, as my life is dialed to the Lucy Ricardo setting permanently.

          Here is the absolute truth of what happened: One night I had a horrible dream that I was hit by another car going full speed.  It was so scary that I sat straight up in bed, woke up, realized it was just a dream, and then lay back down and went back to sleep. 

But in sitting up so fast, I must have pulled my neck and back muscles out.  So the next morning I could barely move, and found myself at the chiropractor’s office, wincing in pain.  The receptionist asked me to fill out a form, which included a description of my injury. Well what could I say?  I wrote, “I dreamed I was in a car accident.”  The next thing I knew the doctor himself came into the waiting room and said, “No one has ever written that on one of my forms.”  Welcome to Joniopolis. This is where crazy things not only can happen, they will.  Time and again.  And if this makes my insurance rates go up, you can bet you’ll hear about that here.

Buy my books and you’ll see why I say that every minute of the day is a win-win: Either things go well, or it’s material.  Usually it’s material.