Not Funny

            Our wonderful kids were in town for my birthday, and first gave me this card:

        Okay, pretty funny. But then... there is a LIFE RULE we must all follow, but which I forgot about, and broke while my kids were in town: Never tip your hand.

          This means that if you are afraid of some creature, you do not reveal this, or you will be tormented by versions of this animal popping up in what your family thinks are hilarious moments.

          Remember when I told you about meerkats?  You can read that blog here, and I recommend it because it is hilarious:

https://jonihilton.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-sorry-truth-about-meerkats.html

              Yes, I came home to find a little meerkat family figurine in a plate
of ketchup.

              I’ve also shared a personal, scary bat story here, which you must read next: https://jonihilton.blogspot.com/2025/08/batting-thousand.html

              And now, while my darling family is in town for my surprise birthday, somehow the subject of bats comes up and I relay the bat story.

              So, they all head off to the supermarket to shop, and what do I see when I walk into the family room?

               What supermarket sells stuffed bats?  It sounds like a dreadful appetizer, doesn’t it?  Anyway, this one’s kind of cute, I have to admit. (And next time, I'm telling them I'm afraid of chocolate ice cream.)

While you’re still sitting down, join 10K others and watch my Youtube Mom videos here. Hundreds of quick life hacks.

Batting A Thousand

           I cannot believe I’ve never written here about bats. 

          When we lived in Iowa, our house was more than 100 years old, and bats would hibernate in the walls during winter. In the Spring we’d hear scritching sounds, and the next thing you knew, they had found a vent and were swooping through the house.  Okay, two rooms.

          Unfortunately, one of those rooms was my bedroom. St. Bob would get home from work late at night, and would only devote about 20 minutes to this major catastrophe, then would hop in bed and go to sleep. 

          This left me to lie in bed, furious, and pulling the blankets up to my eyes, which darted back and forth as I tried to follow the path of these bloodthirsty terrorists.

        By the way, fun fact, if you are in the Emergency Room and have even been IN A ROOM with a bat, you have to be tested for Rabies because there are bats that can bite you and you can't feel it, nor does it leave a mark!

          You’re not supposed to kill them, but everyone we knew had a tennis racket under the bed. And allegedly they have echo-location that should guide them out of an open window, but this doesn’t work, either.

          Finally our bedroom bat hid behind a curtain and Bob scooted him out the window in the morning. I don’t think I slept a wink. I heard of an event at the Nature Center, about bat information. I signed up with all the kids, hoping to overcome my fear of these hideous creatures. But what was the first slide they showed?  A giant bat, snarling at the camera with a bear trap set of teeth in his mouth! This did NOTHING to abate my fear.

          So, wouldn’t you know, that when this goodie appeared in the local paper, St. Bob (Saint- ha!) had to save it for me, with key parts underlined: Bat Talk and Tour, fun-filled event, and opportunities to meet bats up close.

 

And no, I did not sign up.

But you should subscribe to my Youtube Mom channel-- hundreds of life hacks for you to enjoy, bat-free!