Have you
ever known someone to fall through a hole in a boat on their honeymoon and
knock themselves cold? Meet St. Bob.
We had
gone on an amazing trip to France, which included a 3-day barge tour through
the canals of Burgundy. Sounds dreamy,
right? Here's a glimpse of
this luxurious way to see French countryside.
The brochure touted three Bs—barging, ballooning, and bicycling. What they forgot was the fourth B: Bob.
And he
wanted it all on video. From going
through the locks (no comments about my ‘80s yellow leg warmers) to filming the barge interior, to an abbey and beautiful gardens, Bob had to photograph it all.
At midday we
gathered for another sumptuous meal and Bob decided to wander into the kitchen
to videotape all the foods we couldn’t pronounce, along with their preparation.
The rest
of us were happily chatting in the dining area, and suddenly heard a loud
crash. “Guess the chef dropped the
chicken!” one guest joked. After a while
Bob rejoined us, and we continued on our way.
By evening we were visiting an old forge in Montbard, and Bob was finally so sore he
could hardly walk. He asked me to sit on a stone bench with him where he
confessed that he had been walking backwards as he filmed, and had FALLEN
THROUGH THE OPEN HATCH TO THE BOILER ROOM, broken a wooden step with his
shoulder, sustained whiplash, and knocked himself out. The camera lens had also hit the edge of the
hole and stopped working just as he fell.
When he
opened his eyes, he could see a square of light above him, with the nervous
staff peeking down at him. He swore them
all to secrecy so as not to spoil the trip for everyone by having to go to an
emergency room.
Well,
naturally, I slapped his arm and began beating on him. “You could have punctured a lung! You could have broken your back! You probably have a concussion! You should have gotten x-rays!” This did nothing to help his injuries, including broken ribs. And, now we know the other B the brochure should have warned about: Bride.
Yes,
it is true. I will never run out of true
stories and material for this blog.
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