Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Falling for France

          Have you ever known someone to fall through a hole in a boat on their honeymoon and knock themselves cold?  Meet St. Bob.
          We had gone on an amazing trip to France, which included a 3-day barge tour through the canals of Burgundy.  Sounds dreamy, right?  Here's a glimpse of this luxurious way to see French countryside.  

          The brochure touted three Bs—barging, ballooning, and bicycling.  What they forgot was the fourth B: Bob. 
          And he wanted it all on video.  From going through the locks (no comments about my ‘80s yellow leg warmers) to filming the barge interior, to an abbey and beautiful gardens, Bob had to photograph it all.

          At midday we gathered for another sumptuous meal and Bob decided to wander into the kitchen to videotape all the foods we couldn’t pronounce, along with their preparation.
          The rest of us were happily chatting in the dining area, and suddenly heard a loud crash.  “Guess the chef dropped the chicken!” one guest joked.  After a while Bob rejoined us, and we continued on our way.  By evening we were visiting an old forge in Montbard, and Bob was finally so sore he could hardly walk.  He asked me to sit on a stone bench with him where he confessed that he had been walking backwards as he filmed, and had FALLEN THROUGH THE OPEN HATCH TO THE BOILER ROOM, broken a wooden step with his shoulder, sustained whiplash, and knocked himself out.  The camera lens had also hit the edge of the hole and stopped working just as he fell.
          When he opened his eyes, he could see a square of light above him, with the nervous staff peeking down at him.  He swore them all to secrecy so as not to spoil the trip for everyone by having to go to an emergency room.
          Well, naturally, I slapped his arm and began beating on him.  “You could have punctured a lung!  You could have broken your back!  You probably have a concussion!  You should have gotten x-rays!”  This did nothing to help his injuries, including broken ribs.  And, now we know the other B the brochure should have warned about: Bride.

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  1. Ohmigosh! You took my dream trip for a honeymoon. As a missionary I used to watch those barges traveling the canals, see them navigate the locks and watch as the water levels adjusted. It always fascinated me, and those shady, tree-lined waterways looked so inviting and leisurely (especially to a tired Elder who pedaled a bike everywhere) that I swore I would come back and see France by barge. Which, of course, I've never done. So you have my admiration and envy. Another B you could have mentioned: Brough!

    1. Ahh... I had no idea! Well, time to add another B: Bucket list-- you should go on this trip, especially since you speak the language. Just don't fall through any holes....