A Perfect Toast

           St. Bob is a toast expert. Long before air fryers and other cookers, he had mastered placing buttered bread on a rack in the oven and broiling it, watching it every second until it was perfectly done. None of this toaster business.

          But now that he has a Ninja Air Fryer Toaster Oven, he is even more fastidious. First of all, it must be Dave’s Killer Bread.

          And then it must be pure butter, spread “from coast to coast.”  Yes, right up to the very edge. He requests this in restaurants as well, and gets mixed results.

But at home, he can be the King of Toast, and broil it exactly right, for 3 minutes and 30 seconds. This means the top has a glistening golden crust, yet the bottom remains soft and delicious (unlike using a toaster, which dries the bread out completely, on both sides).

Now, as often happens in life, he married a woman—me—who does not like toast. Here are my reasons why:

1.      It’s slightly burnt tasting (I mean, it’s been cooked once. Why the repetition?)

2.     It scratches the roof of my mouth.

3.     The crusts, which I’ve always torn off anyway, are now rock hard.

4.    It creates five times the crumbs of regular bread.

So, I watch with admiration as St. Bob gets his toast precisely perfect, and recently, he convinced me to try it.

          ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This does not resemble the toast of my childhood! It is simply phenomenal. Try his method and you will be in heaven. Be sitting down so you won’t faint onto the floor.

          This is the only thing he uses the Ninja for. So, if we amortize one slice of bread per day, the cost of this machine—hmm…

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