The Halves and Half-Nots

           There is much to be said about the beauty of large birds. The Bald Eagle is even our national symbol. And there are hawks, owls, and falcons in my own neighborhood, since Rocklin, California is dotted with lovely wetlands.

          HOWEVER… these are predatory birds, and if you think they only eat mice and other pests, you would be wrong. They eat other birds!  Yes, that earns an exclamation mark because I was stunned when I learned this.

          In fact, if you type “large birds that will not eat other birds” into a search, you will not find anything. Just lists of the 30+ ones who do gobble up their kind.

          And, of course, they also eat rodents, which brings me to the hideous discovery I made in our back yard last week, when I saw a neighbor’s cat staring at our hammock.  On closer inspection, there was the top half of a BUNNY there! It had fallen from someone’s talons, just like the Norwegian rat that one of those winged gluttons dropped on our roof a couple of years ago.

          AND, one of them even tried to carry away our own little dog, a Chihuahua mix who was just small enough to tempt them.

          This is why I hate nature shows. Okay, first I love them because of the beauty of the sleek leopards, the swiftness of the gazelles, the agility of the Orca whales.  But TV producers cannot stop at this; they have to show you how the animals eat.  And it’s inevitably somebody else.

Don’t we have enough reality in our lives? Can’t we just pretend that everyone gets along, then goes home and slaps on an apron and bakes cookies?

 You could always post a link to a list of their favorite foods, so we don’t have to see the grizzly details. I’m just saying.

Hey, Christmas is coming, and my book, A Little Christmas Prayer, is the perfect inexpensive gift! Sometimes it takes a child to raise a village, and this tale teaches anyone, of any faith, the magic of gratitude. Available on Amazon. Other books and Youtube Mom videos can be found at jonihilton.com.

Nature au Naturale

My family is weird.  I know that comes as a complete shock to those of you who’ve been reading this blog and marveling at my utter normalness, but it’s true.  They don’t like nature.  Oh, they like pictures of it.  And interesting facts about it.  Even PBS specials about it. Brandon says he approves of nature in a broad sense.  But if you drag them out into the middle of it, they will soon voice objections.

 

Case in point.  There are precious few places where sea otters actually live and one of them is off the coast of California.  Having a weakness for anything with a face as cute as an otter’s, I booked a family excursion on a boat that takes you out into Monterey Bay to see them up close.  As we were walking down the dock, Cassidy said, “This isn’t going to have anything to do with nature, is it?”  Quickly I stepped in front of a humongous sign that said, NATURE CRUISES, trying to block the first word.  “No, no,” I assured him, “it’s just a fun little tour.”  Ten minutes later he realized he’d been Shanghai’d on a slow boat not to China, which actually would have  interested him, but through kelp beds and bird habitats where otters resembled tree branches and other floating plant material nobody would pay ten cents to see.

Another time I decided to take the entire family to Yosemite for Bob’s birthday because it happens that Bob is crazy about waterfalls.

  Now.  Did I tell this man to have a birthday in the dead middle of summer on what is often the hottest day of the year?  A time when the waterfalls have all dried up?  It was a total bust.  Not only were there no waterfalls, but the rare yellow orchid I wanted to see was hidden deep in mountain passes unavailable to tourists, and the kids refused to walk farther than 100 feet on a hike, claiming there was nothing to see but a bunch of trees.

The pricey Ahwanee Hotel where I had booked us rooms nearly gave Bob a stroke when he saw the tab.

 Cassidy leaned against the front desk and said, “A squirrel just ran across the lobby, Mom.”  As if this were a dive in a bad neighborhood and someone had just sprayed graffiti on the walls. 

Nicole came back from the gift shop reporting a distinct shortage of good chocolate and they all elected to leave a day early.   

In Scouting, Cassidy climbed Mt. Shasta

and came back as fried as a strip of bacon, still almost smoldering as he stumbled through the door.  Nicole counted every ant at Girls’ Camp.  Brandon stepped on a beehive while helping with Richie’s Eagle Project (a bat house) and got so many stings we couldn’t count them all.  Brandon also has the family record for sunburns, stitches from mishaps on fishing boats, and battles with Poison Oak.

Richie seems to be the only one who enjoys camping and getting out in nature.   And according to Brandon, that makes him the weird one. 

Take a break from nature, sit at your computer, and subscribe so that these blogs will come winging their way into your inbox.  Just enter your email into the box at the right, and you won't get one sunburn or mosquito bite.