Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Not Grand, Not Yet

            There is no good reason why I don’t have grandkids, yet.  I’m old enough.  Barely.  Okay, not barely.  And I have four children, three of whom are ages 25 to 32.  (Yes, I had them all when I was in my teens-- ha!)
            Only the 25-year-old is married, but the others were supposed to be married and cranking out MY GRANDCHILDREN by now!  Nicole is off the hook, since she’s serving a church mission in Norway, and probably ought not to be thinking about having babies just yet.
            I’ve told them all that if they don’t hurry up, I will be useless as a babysitter.  I’m already borderline useless because I have ADD (You left your baby here?  What baby?), and if they don’t hurry, their kids will have to babysit me (Aww, I have to babysit Grandma again?  I did it last time!  It’s Stanley’s turn!)  Assuming one of them is named Stanley.
            I have a friend, Cynthia Horst, who is my same age and has nine—count ‘em, NINE—grandkids.  She’s the quilting wonder behind the blog, Dream, Quilt, Create which you can find here.  She has made every single one of them a totally killer blessing gown and bonnet, smocked, embroidered, with matching slip, the whole nine yards:

            It’s disgusting.  Okay, her sewing is not disgusting; any dope can see that it’s ethereal and unbelievable.  What’s disgusting is that I have NOT ONE grandchild to sew for.  Not that I would sew, necessarily.  And if I did, it would probably be finger puppets, not heirloom-quality blessing gowns.

            Maybe that’s the problem.  Maybe if I could make amazing paper doll quilts

And doll clothes and doll bassinets


my kids would realize the bonanza they have, of such a talented grandma in the wings, and they’d get busy. 
            But I can certainly make cookies and fairy gardens and, and, okay maybe that’s it.  But I know women who can’t even make those, and they are surrounded by grandchildren.  Do you know how many tiny children were at my Thanksgiving table this year?   Here is what I cooked, a photo taken by the as-yet-unmarried 32-year-old:

And the number of grandchildren in attendance: Zero.  Zero, I tell you.  And now Christmas is coming and do you know how many children will lie awake in my house, listening for the jingle bells of Santa’s sleigh?  And gasping in amazement at his snowy footsteps on the carpet, on Christmas morning?  Yep, you’re doing the math: Zero, again. 
Not that I’m whining, mind you.  It’s certainly not my business.
Give a wanna-be Grandma a break, and buy her books.  Jungle, Sisters in the Mix, and Pinholes into Heaven are even available in hard copies at Createspace.com.  Check ‘em out!  And if you are shopping for LDS parents, you’ll definitely want Wishes for the LDS Child available here.


  1. I love it, someone needs to wipe the huge smile off my face!!! When the time comes, and it will, you will be a fantastic grandmother!!!

  2. Thanks, Cynthia! You're a great role model, so I will try to take notes from the best! xo