Friday, November 29, 2013

Here Lies...

Have you ever wondered what people will say about you when you’re gone?  Or what they’ll put on your headstone? 
            Obviously they’ll include your birth and death dates, but what about “the dash,” as the saying goes, the stuff that happened in between?  Whether you’re cremated or buried, there needs to be some kind of epitaph or label.  You don’t want your ashes mistaken for potting soil, nor your body to lie in an unmarked grave, right?  Actually, once you’re gone, I doubt you’ll care.  And lots of folks’ remains are scattered, legally or not, in scenic locations they’ve always enjoyed.
            But some of us want to choose which words will adorn our final resting place.  It can’t be too lengthy because engraving is expensive.  And let’s face it-- there’s only so much space to work with, so your whole eulogy can’t be on there.  Just something that captures your essence, like the “Beloved Wife and Mother” we often see in cemeteries.
            In case you need a bit of help, I thought I’d share some headstone ideas you may not have considered.  I like the this one, something we've all been told will happen:

Then there's always the final pun:

Obviously this guy got what was coming to him:

and here's one way to look on the bright side:

This is one you see in almost every cemetery.  I guess there'll be no shortage of comedians in heaven:

I'm not even sure if this one's real, but it's clever:

If we're smart we'll plan our entire funeral, rather than leave it to chance (after all, who can embellish our fine points better than we can?)   But unless you buy a slab of granite and get it partially engraved beforehand, you can never be sure what your posterity will say about you.  I'm hoping mine will write, "I told you we should have stayed with the group."
Never let it be said that you forgot to give wonderful Christmas presents.  Might I suggest the handy list of books on this very home page?  You're welcome.

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