Holy
Hamptons. Before I go on to describe it,
you need to see its photo.
Kroger’s
Palace is more like it. Turns out the
mayor of Madison insists that every building there reflect the opulence of the
South and that goes for the post office, car washes, and even Walgreens, which
has Corinthian columns and I kid you not.
Inside
Kroger’s it’s candyland for a foodie.
First of all, it’s ten times the size of supermarkets everywhere else,
so wear your walking shoes. And the
selection is enormous as well. Since Bob
is from Louisiana and grew up on crawfish and shrimp, we headed straight for
the seafood counter where they also had mounds of crab and lobster. Check it out:
And
then get this: Not only do they have a magazine aisle, but comfy chairs where
you can “sit a spell,” as if you’re in Barnes and Noble!
Next
up, Blue Bell ice cream, a Southern favorite.
I’m telling you, a person could
live at Kroger’s and never come out.
This makes our local Safeway look like our local 7-Eleven. But
best of all are the signs above the cashiers that say, “About 15 items.”
Are you kidding me? Ours say, “9 items at most or we’ll count
them and throw you out.” At least, I’m pretty
sure that’s what they say. And good luck
if you get in line ahead of someone holding only two items, because you’ll see
their lips moving as they count what’s in your cart (and a bag of 3 lemons
counts as 3 items in their opinion).
Grocery Nazis evidently do not exist in Mississippi. It’s so easygoing that 15 items, give or
take, is just fine with them. I mean faaan
with them, y’all.
So, Kroger’s, if you’re listening,
you need to open a store in Rocklin, California. I’m wearing my tennies, I have 16 items in my
cart, and I am waiting.
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