Invasion of the Plant Snatchers?

          I absolutely love to garden. I have come very close to becoming “The Clipper Lady” by taking said clippers with me about town, and snipping the suckers off trees, etc. Why can’t there be a Superhero who does this? And why can’t it be me?

          Anyway, because gardening is a major pastime, several people have asked to tour my back yard. I am immensely flattered and happy to comply. Except for right now. And OF COURSE one of my friends is coming to see it.

          Right now we have a problem of disaster movie proportions: The Mother of All Aphid Invasions.  They are devouring our apricot and nectarine tree leaves, and have dropped their sticky poop (yes, I am going to use that word) throughout our flower beds. Which brings me to Item #1 on this list of things you may not have known about these admittedly fascinating little enemies:

1. They poop sugar. These excretions are called honeydew, so obviously there’s an entymologist somewhere with a sense of humor. If your leaves are suddenly sticky, look for aphids.

2. Unlike other insects, they have live babies. They are in such a hurry that their eggs develop as soon as ovulation occurs, no fertilization needed. Virgin births, all. Oh-- and they're born pregnant.

3. Ant colonies will herd them and milk them, even fighting off predators so they can keep the candy shop going.

4.4.   Lots of insects prey on them, but don’t go to the nursery and buy ladybugs to eat them— nurseries scoop them up (in my area) from the Sierras, sell them to customers who release them into their gardens, and the ladybugs fly right back to the Sierras.  

5. 5. Aphids also make waxy fluid. They blast this through glands on their hineys that look like tailpipes. This is how they gum up the mouths of predators. You’ve gotta admit, these are highly adapted creatures.

6.    If the wax doesn’t work, they kickbox. I kid you not. Apparently their hind feet are weapons. So much for avoiding a sugary diet to get in shape, right? And if kicking doesn’t work, they roll off the host plant to escape.

7.     If an attack is still coming, they can sound a pheromone alarm to other aphids, to hide. Ladybugs are highly adapted, too, though, and some of them know to follow this signal to a feast.

8.    Their last line of defense is to use female aphids that never molt into adulthood, as soldiers to fight off predators. Apparently these aphids have ultra hairy legs (so no shaving, at least there’s that) and use their legs to squeeze intruders.

 Aphids are usually wingless.  Aha—usually. Let’s say they find themselves on plants that have been sucked dry. Or it’s too crowded.  What to do? They actually produce a generation of flyers that can ride the wind to relocate. 

Now we just need to wait for the movie.

And while you wait, watch my Youtube Mom videos, filled with great life hacks!