Heart Times

           I have been asked for more detail about our son’s heart surgery. But you know this is going to come with Richie’s trademark comedy.

          Here are the deets: Despite being only 41, he needed a double bypass due to blocked arteries (bad genetics he was told).  But even open heart surgery couldn’t stop him from finding the funny.  When asked for his blood type, he said, "A Plus."  Then, when another nurse told him how wonderful he was as a patient, Richie whispered to us, “Yeah, but most of their patients are in their 90s, so that’s a pretty low bar.”

          I’ve been trying to convince him to recuperate at our house instead of his, without much success.  When I told him about a great new TV show, I said, “So when you’re at our house recuperating, you can watch it.” He said, “I see what you did, there.”

          I also told him it's a miracle he's alive, that God must have a special purpose for him.  

          "I hope it's more than one," he said, "because otherwise if you accomplish that one thing, it's well, off you go."

          Bob and I saw a cute nurse with loads of personality and after she left the room we pointed out that she didn’t have a wedding ring. Eyebrows up and down.  Richie rolled his eyes, then later texted that she must have overheard us, because the next time she came in she was talking about her boyfriend.  Oops.

          At one point he was saying his car needs a new drive shaft. Bob began singing the old Texaco jingle, “You can trust your car to the man who wears the star…” and I joined in.  Then I glanced over at Richie in his hospital bed.  He was muttering, “Old people.”

          Three days after, when a friend asked how he felt, he said, "Well, the first day I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. On the second day I felt like I'd been kicked by a horse. And today it feels like I bicycled into a telephone pole." So... progress?

          He’s been discharged, and is now following orders not to drive, lift, push, pull, twist, or reach. And you don’t think I want to monitor this?

Check out my Youtube Mom videos, full of amazing life hacks. But you probably won’t find one about how to back off when your son has heart surgery.