Tuesday, November 1, 2016

A Real-Life Candyland

          When I was little I wanted to be Queen Frostine.  She lived in Candyland which is wonderful enough, but specifically in the Ice Cream Sea.
          Her world included a Candy Castle, Gingerbread Plum Trees, Gumdrop Mountains, Lollipop Woods—basically a sugar kingdom.  Not only that, but she had flowing blue hair and a blue ballgown.
          I had no idea this actual location has been recreated in Provo, Utah. Well, minus the blue hair and ballgowns. I don’t think it was intentional, but merchants there have amped up the sugar consumption enough to make you wonder if it could be the Type 2 Diabetes capitol of the world. Just take a look at one sign that made me swerve right into the café:
          Our daughter, Nicole, attends BYU there, so we thought we’d visit.  Within two days I told St. Bob, “I have got to get out of Provo or else buy a new wardrobe consisting entirely of caftans.”  It literally seemed as if every other store was an ice cream shop or a bakery.  Even the trucks driving by had “cookie delivery” written on the side, as if part of an emergency response team.  
          Salt Lake City has its share of dangerous pastries
          but Provo takes—and sells—the cake.  Maybe it’s because its largely LDS population doesn’t drink, so goodies become the vice of the day. Truly, you cannot walk downtown without tripping over frosted sugar cookies, 
a chocolate-tasting bar, milkshakes, waffles, candies, and cinnamon rolls. You can’t even go hiking without seeing a hot chocolate truck.
          Even on campus, there seems to be a constant flow of calories. After doing a German dance in the JFSB building, performers handed out free servings of apple streudel to all the students.  Elsewhere the BYU Creamery offers huge samples of Blueberry Cheesecake Ice Cream.  
And then a few steps away in the Wilkinson Center and at Brigham Square, you find almost constant offerings of free donuts, cookies, popcorn, and cotton candy.  No wonder those kids bicycle by whistling Disney tunes.  
 Resisting temptation seems futile, so the only thing we could do to save ourselves from Sugar Rehab was to waddle out of there as fast as we could.  Well, maybe bring along a few cupcakes for the road…

          It’s okay if you get crumbs in my book.  Snacking and reading are perfectly acceptable.  See which of my books whets your appetite here.