Tuesday, May 28, 2024

There’s Always Material

           Seriously, I do not want to die a dumb death. The other night I was in the Emergency Room, coughing for four hours because I swallowed a pill wrong.

          Yep, a vitamin tablet went down my windpipe and I couldn’t stop coughing. Such a stupid situation. I tried hurling myself over furniture to Heimlich it out, and Bob clapped me on the back, but nothing worked. So off we went to the hospital.

          The coughing was so violent that other patients were asking nurses to make me wear a mask. If only they knew that stupidity isn’t actually contagious.

          Speaking of other patients, the place was packed. Try never to have an emergency on a Friday night with a full moon. ER workers will tell you it’s the worst night for crowds.

          By now I was wondering if I would choke to death on a supplement, and what they would say in my obituary.  “Folks, you’re not going to believe this, but…”

          No lung specialist was there to help, so they took x-rays. They also wanted to admit me so that I could cough all night in a hospital room and see the doctor in the morning. Meanwhile, now they wanted to do a CT-scan to see exactly where the obstruction was.

          While waiting I continued to cough until FINALLY the thing dissolved and I could cough it up and then breathe again. Deep, glorious breaths. No need for the forceps I’d been reading about on Google. So St. Bob and I went home at about 2:30 in the morning.

          Looks like I’ve avoided headlining the Darwin List once again. So far.

But a very smart thing to do would be to check out the hundreds of life hack videosvideos on my Youtube Mom channel.

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