15 Signs that it's Just Too Hot

          I love Sacramento except for a few days a year when we get triple digit temperatures.  All this week the Mercury’s hovering around 109, and it’s even higher than that in Las Vegas and Phoenix.  Across the nation people are sweltering, and if you add humidity, it’s even worse.  Here are 15 signs that you’re living where it’s just too hot:

1-       Your makeup slides down so far that your eyebrows now look like a mustache.

2-      You buy two bottles of water—one to drink, and one to pour over your head.

3-      Your pantyhose ignite from your legs rubbing together.

4-      You need pot holders to open the car door.

5-      You stick to the fabric lawn chairs.

6-      Your hair is so wet, people think you dyed it a darker color.

7-      Your shoes make squishing sounds when you walk.

8-      You appear to be permanently blushing.

9-      Your postage stamps melt into one solid glob.

10-    Hose water burns your flowers.

11-     You spend your lunch hour standing in front of a fan display at a department store, or wandering the freezer aisle of the supermarket.

12-    Your car registration sticker slides off the license plate and you get a ticket.

13-    Your sunburn has a sunburn.

14-    You invest in a sunscreen company.

15-     You realize no kids will be born nine months from now.

Speaking of hot, my latest LDS novel is hot off the presses-- it's called GOLDEN and you can read more about it here.  Watch what happens when the Waterson family takes on the spooky Witch House-- as a ward project.  Available in paperback on Amazon.