Well,
whaddaya know. It turns out you can
predicts a woman’s athletic ability just by looking at the length of her
fingers. Seriously, there are studies
that prove this.
“… the
longer one’s ring finger relative to one’s index finger, the faster one can
run,” says British psychologist John T. Manning, who predicted the outcome of
several 100-meter races just by looking at the runners’ hands.
I know, I
know. You’re studying your own fingers
right now. Is your ring finger as
long—or even longer—than your pointer?
Then, according to scientists, you were likely exposed to more
testosterone in the womb. And if
you’re a woman, you can run like the wind.
For men, the news is even better: They’ll be born with great hearts and vascular
systems.
Apparently
this ratio is inherited, and doesn’t change during one’s lifetime. So if you want all your children to be world
class athletes, check out your girlfriend’s ring finger length.
Here’s a chart that tells
you how to determine whether your ratio is low (good for sports) or high (good
for holding still):
Now here’s a photo of my own hand:
Oh, yes,
Boys and Girls, what can we conclude from this? Simply what I’ve known all along—that
despite trying, I will never win a gold medal in the Olympics, even the senior Senior Olympics, and sports will forever
exasperate me. Additionally, I
will collect stories of klutziness, sprains, and bruises as I bumble through
life a good ten meters behind the more fingerly endowed.
I’d stop
right here and make several puns about having to hand it to sprinters and
marathoners, etc. But I don’t have time
for that—gotta run!
Athletic
or not, you’ll love my books because there is literally something for
everyone. Check ‘em out here.
Sissy!
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