Tuesday, May 20, 2014

I'm Joni and I'll be Your Waitress

          Tomorrow is National Waitress Day.
I don’t know if waiters have their own day, but I’ll tell you this: I could never be a waitress and the world is better for it.
          Here is how your meal would go if I were your waitress:
          You: Oh, Miss, will my steak be arriving soon?
          Me: What steak?
          You: The steak I ordered.
          Me: Who took your order?
          You: You did.
          Me: ME? That’s impossible!  Are you sure?
          You: (eye rolling, possibly) Yes, I’m sure.
          Me: What else did you order?
          You: That’s it.  Just a steak and a baked potato.
          Me: What? No vegetable?
          You: (sighing, possibly) No.
          Me: Well that’s hardly a healthy meal.  Did you order a salad, at least?
          You: No.
          Me: I’m bringing you a salad.  And a side of broccoli.
          You: But I didn’t order—
          Me: It’s on me, I just can’t have you eating dinner without something green.
          And green, of course, is the color I would never see in a tip. 
          So for all the waitresses who can remember their customers’ orders, resist revising those same orders, and cheerfully deliver plate upon plate of food to picky diners, I salute you.  This is your day.  Go out and celebrate.  After eating your veggies, of course.
As your YouTube mom, I must insist you have a balanced diet, even if it’s an ice cream cone in one hand and a cookie in the other.  Check out my channel here.

1 comment:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.