Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Whoa-ga Yoga

          Yoga began in India and has been around for decades. But I could have told you it wouldn’t be long before people would start messing with it and coming up with variations to keep it in the news.
Enter Aerial Yoga:
          Yes, this is a thing. Not only must you be coordinated enough to hold yoga poses (which counts me out, already), but you must now do them while suspended in the air.  This seems like excellent preparation for being in Cirque de Soleil but I will never try this in my lifetime.
          Hot Yoga is another trendy idea.  Apparently you do this in extreme heat and humidity so that you will sweat profusely and rid your body of toxins.  I have an idea. Stop eating toxins in the first place.  
          And then there is Goat Yoga. It’s sweeping the nation, and I assume the nation is sweeping little goat pellets off their mats. This one claims to add fun and whimsy to the experience, since baby goats are just plain adorable.  What’s next—Puppy Yoga?  Kitten yoga?  How about St. Bob yoga? I think he’s pretty adorable:
          And I could rent him out to stand on your back as you try to do yoga poses.
          Goat yoga sites say that the goats are uplifting.  Yes, but they are also down-peeing. Though proponents say nobody minds, I find that sweeping statement a bit hard to believe.  If you want to be surrounded by darling baby animals, why not just visit a petting zoo and watch your step?
          I am certain there will be other variations of yoga.  How about Yoda Yoga, where you try to balance a collectible Yoda figure on your head?  Or maybe Yo-Yo Yoga, where you work a yo-yo as you simultaneously balance on one foot?  Or Sky-Dive Yoga, where you strike poses in mid-air as you’re falling?  I’m telling you, the sky’s the limit.
          How about Book Club Yoga? You can read my books while doing any kind of yoga you like. Find them all right here.

No comments:

Post a Comment