15 Ways You Know the Lines are Too Long

          You did it again. You forgot to buy everything by November, and now it’s December and you’re stuck in holiday shopping lines.  I love Christmas, but here’s how you know you’re in a line that’s just too long:

1-       Your chewing gum has gotten old.  Twice.

2-      You’ve exchanged email addresses with the people next to you.

3-      People’s relatives are standing in for them, in shifts.

4-      A catering truck pulls up to service your group.

5-      You’ve taken off your coat to allow for the change in weather.

6-      Your roots need a re-touch.

7-      People are sitting in lawn chairs, using their lap tops.

8-      One lady is stamping her Christmas cards.

9-      A man calls home to tell his kids goodnight.

10-    Your cell phone has become obsolete twice since you got in line.

11-     You consider calling neighbors to feed the dog.

12-    You’ve heard the same Muzak Christmas Carols eight times.

13-     You’d be willing to pay double, if they’d just open another register.

14 -    The store has put a Porta-Potty nearby.

15-     They’re throwing a baby shower for a woman who wasn’t even pregnant when you first got in line.

But you can save all this aggravation by purchasing my books online!  With 24 to choose from, there’s something for everyone, trust me.