Saturday, July 27, 2013

Marbles? I Had Marbles?

           Wait a second, here.  To an outsider it may appear that I am losing my marbles.  However, I know of at least two marbles rattling around upstairs.  Okay, they could be ping-pong balls, it’s hard to tell without an x-ray.  But sometimes, I will admit, they seem eerily silent.
            And I really think it’s stress, don’t you?  I mean, that’s what we blame it on, right?  Our gray matter gets so overloaded that part of it—sometimes all of it—decides to sit down and take a little nap. 
            Lately I’ve been calling to Bob, starting a sentence, and then getting completely distracted by another concern.  Let’s say I’m sitting at the computer and I want to ask him what he wants for dinner this weekend.  I say, “So what would you--”and then I see something startling on screen.  Perhaps it’s an email, a Facebook post, and I stop talking.
            He is standing there, waiting for me to finish my sentence, but this doesn’t happen because I can’t even finish my thought, much less a sentence.  Finally he uses his TV announcer voice and says, “Welcome to The Half-a-Sentence Show starring Joni Hilton!  And now, heeeeeeere’s—“And he stops, not saying my name.  Just stops.  To be funny.

            Even worse are the times when I am fully engaged, trying to have a conversation, just at the wrong moment.  The other day I am on the phone, listening to Bob.  He is telling me about a business meeting. It’s quite interesting, actually, and soon I say, “Oh, absolutely.  That’s exactly what I was thinking--”

            Except that he isn’t listening to me.  He interrupts and just keeps going on about the meeting.  I think that perhaps he didn’t hear me.  So I wait for him to pause a bit and I jump in again.  “Another idea I had,” I say, “is if you guys--”
            And it happens again!  He talks right over the top of me, not listening to a word I say.  Well, now it’s downright rude, right?  So I take a breath and decide to wait him out.  And the next thing I know, he’s telling me goodbye and hanging up!  And only now do I remember that I came home, saw a blinking light on the phone, and was retrieving messages.  I have been talking to a recording.
            Maybe I do need my own reality show.  The logo can be an empty bag of marbles.

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