12 Reasons You Shouldn't Be on a Reality Show

 1-         You’re too chipper.  The last time you lost your temper was during the Carter administration. 

2-         You don’t look good enough in a swimsuit; the others would ignore you.

3-         You look too good in a swimsuit; the others will despise you.

 4-         You’re a peace maker, and would try to get everyone else to get along, or at least join you in singing a few show tunes. 

5-         You don’t have enough tattoos. 

6-         You don’t secretly want to be an actress. 

7-         Your nose runs when you over exert yourself.

 8-         You’d need too many luxury items: tweezers, concealer, hair gel, wrinkle cream, lip liner, mascara, nail polish, etc. 

9-         You’re too exhausted from raising a family to be a diabolical manipulator.

 10-       You’d want to include the camera men and crew, to be polite. 

11-       You know too many party games and would make it too much fun.

 12-       You’d only be doing it to lose weight, and wouldn’t have that competitive edge.    

So stay home and watch my Youtube Mom videos. Hundreds of life hacks!