Who Nose?

           A friend of mine stopped by to visit, and told me she had a “Joni Moment” this week.

          Aha, I thought, time to find out just what that means. Does it mean she thought of a brilliant invention, a life-saving device, a solution to the world’s woes?

          Of course not. She accidentally brushed eyeliner on the end of her nose. She was switching from one eye to the other, got too close, and brushed a wide swath of black on the tip of her nose.

          Mind you, I am sitting there with my own black splotch on the end of my nose. But mine is a scar repair-- from skin cancer--  with stitches, and looks like a little spider with turquoise legs (the thread). I am told to put Vaseline on it twice a day, and that’s how we know it isn’t an actual spider, because it just holds still for this.

          I sighed. I also remembered that whenever I get a hot flash and pick up a fan to wave it, I smack my nose with it.

          So, if you see me sporting a black spot on the end of my nose, you need not worry that I smudged my makeup. I merely had my unicorn horn smoothed out.

          See if you can see it on my Youtube Mom life hack videos right here.

         

Where Bon-Bons Play

            Ahh… a new French bakery came to town.

Of course St. Bob and I had to check it out. The second we walked in, Bob took one look at the rows and rows of goodies and said, “Well, I’ll never see you again.”

          Pastries of all kinds beckoned. We were each given a tray, a sheet of parchment, and a pair of tongs. Like everyone else, we loaded up.  One guy was holding as much as he possibly could:

          Two dozen tables were filled with happy munchers. We sampled a cake, a sweet roll, a fried apple thing, a quiche, and I can’t remember what else.

          Flaky crusts, creamy fillings—it was probably not good to know that this place is rather close to our house.          

Yikes. Pray for me, readers.

          Oh—and watch my Youtube channel. Lots of fun life hacks.

         

Packing it Up

           Most of you have already packed up your holiday décor. But a friend just called me and said she thinks she needs an intervention. She has way too much Christmas clutter and can’t part with any of it.

          Sound familiar? Just this year I told St. Bob that we should use this “re-packing” opportunity to throw away the stuff we scarcely use anymore.

          I think I came up with two tiny items. Two. Tiny.  You know the theory that you should toss or donate everything which doesn’t bring joy? Well, every bit of this brings joy—that’s its whole purpose.

          “It looks like Santa threw up in my living room,” my friend said.

          I told her I couldn’t come and help because I would bring empty bins, say that I’m loading them up for Goodwill, and then secretly keep them all.

          When I devoted one bedroom to Christmas all year, I used a number of decorations. So, you’d think it would thin down my storage. But no. How do I still have the same number of boxes as before?

          Finally, I came up with the perfect solution and shared it with my pal. “You don’t have too much stuff,” I said. “You have too few houses.”

          And that’s the best I can do.

          But hundreds of quick life hacks can be yours—including ones about organizing—right here on my Youtube Mom channel.

Getting Around

             Circles don’t get enough credit for all they do.  This wonderful, round shape has come in handy throughout history.

            Take horse training. If you don’t use a round pen, horses will go into the corner and stop. They are smarter than most people think, and will try to get out of training.

            You get more structural stability with round shape designs; they have given us gears, wheels, and arches.

            They’re all around. We see this favored shape in dishes, plates, clocks, planets, cakes, buttons, camera lenses, pizzas, rings, pies, steering wheels, the tip of a pen, telescopes, microscopes, and even the pupils in your eye, from which you are reading this.

            They keep traffic moving in roundabouts, and they keep manhole covers from falling into the sewer.

          Circles were essential for developing geometry, astronomy, and calculus. The circle symbolizes harmony, eternity, and perfection.

            Last, a circle is the most popular shape for cookies. Need I say more?

            So let’s hear it for the circle! And you can blow through your party whistle which is, yes, also a circular shape.

            Check out my Youtube Mom life hack videos on my channel right here!

Christmas Done Wrong

           Folks, just as you were sipping hot chocolate in the soft light of your Christmas tree, or listening to happy carolers at your door, a friend of mine was attending an entirely different kind of Christmas Eve: Her grandson and his wife
got hauled off to jail.

          Yes, it was one of those moments when the needle scratches the record and a drunken brawl occurred. Insults were shouted, spit was spat, fists were formed and knuckleheads were knocked. Alcohol, not surprisingly, played a starring role.

          As she was telling me this, I was thinking, “So they probably cancelled the nativity reenactment.” 

          And their four kids were left to wonder just how naughty one has to be, for Santa to boycott their entire event.

          But my friend had already distributed gifts, and when she called me I assured her that, 20 years from now, this will be the hilarious story those kids tell.

I gave her the advice I give all innocent bystanders: “Get some chocolate ice cream, sit down in a comfy chair, put your feet up, and watch whatever you want on television. You had no part in this.”

And you know what? That’s exactly what she did. Well played, Grandma.

She’s probably watching one of my Youtube Mom life hack videos right now!