You’ve seen the socks and T-shirts that say, “I’m silently correcting your grammar,” right? Well, I am silently correcting some of the street names near me.
I told you here that I’ve actually named some streets. But I’ve never re-named a street. And this is a pity, because not far from my house is a new development that needs my help. Tell me these would not be better names:
Lookout Pass: Are you kidding? First, there is no elevation, no mountain, no “lookout” as in “view.” So what are we to think—that crazy drivers live here, ones you need to look out for? Instead, change it to Cookout Pass. Now you want to go there.
Powder Ridge: This would be a great name for a street in Utah, Colorado, or anywhere else where people snow ski. But this is a part of California that gets NO SNOW. What’s next—Shoreline Drive where there’s no shore? I suggest changing it to Power Ridge, so at least you could hope to see some superheroes.
Great Divide: A bit optimistic, here. Sure, every street divides one group of houses from another. But is this truly great? It seems the least you could expect, really. Certainly nothing like the Great Barrier Reef or the Great Salt Lake. On the other hand, Adequate Divide seems a bit sad. How about going the opposite way and calling it Harmony Court or Unity Drive?
Heather Falls: First, no waterfalls. Second, no heather. What are we to think—that someone named Heather keeps falling down in this area?
Singletree Court: Uh, false advertising. There are waaay more trees than one here. It’s like Blue Oaks Boulevard near me, which boasts not a single Blue Oak. Doesn’t it seem like the first rule of street-naming should be to at least look around first? (sigh) So many streets, so little time.
HOWEVER, you can easily spend less time shopping if you simply buy my books—there’s even one called A Little Christmas Prayer that’s perfect for adults or kids!