Things I Have Said Into My Fridge

          We’ve all done it.  We’ve stood in front of the fridge with the door open, gazing over the offerings as if at a bakery. 

Except it doesn’t look like a bakery.  It looks, depending on the day, cluttered, empty, dull, even sketchy.  A plethora of adjectives, but nothing good to eat.

You’d think this wouldn’t happen when you love to cook.  But it happens even more, because we cook yummy things that get gobbled up. And that leaves us gaping at the chilly shelves, wishing something new would materialize.  Occasionally an item works its way to the back, gets forgotten, and becomes a science experiment.  To be sure, refrigerators are receptacles of mystery.

So I kept a record of the things I have recently spoken, as I stood there letting all the cold out.  See if you’ve ever said the following:

Oh, man, no more pie? 

What IS this?

That’s applesauce?  Are you kidding me?

Where’s the peach cobbler?

Oh, boy, how old is this Cool Whip?

That casserole looks like the Gobi Desert.

Okay, liquefied lettuce is disgusting.

The cheesecake is already gone?

What IS this?

I don’t care if this salsa is expired. I’m eating it.

How did bread crumbs get in here?

Ah… butter.  What can I put you on?

Where did the strawberries go?

Popcorn? Seriously?

How old is this lunchmeat?

I wonder if this cream is still good.

Why isn’t there some cookie dough in here?

How can this meat still be frozen solid?

I never should have bought that beet jam.

What IS this?

Time to haul everything out, wipe down the shelves, toss the who-knows-what-this-is items, and maybe whip up some more goodies.  Only this time, I’ll hide them in the back of the crisper, behind some wilting celery that will provide the perfect camouflage.

Hey, I have a bunch of fridge tips on my YouTube Mom channel!  Check one out here, then scroll through for hundreds of other short Life Skill videos.