Yesterday my neighbor told me that she and her husband were driving around, wondering who comes up with street names.
I have the answer: Me.
Seriously, this is my newest endeavor. It’s been on my bucket list forever, and after doing some research and talking to a buddy of mine who’s a city manager, I am now being asked by several companies to help them name streets. And I can hardly contain my excitement. No more silly street names (Stuppi Street—are you kidding me?) and no more names that nobody can pronounce or spell.
I am only submitting names of streets where you’d be proud to live, and I’m happy to work with whatever themes or topography I’m assigned. Here are just a few I’ve placed this week: Hampton Drive, Westminster Lane, Regency Court, Princeville Point, Golden Summer Cove, Whispering Pines Way, Carriage Crossing, and Deer Haven Court. I also check them against Google Earth to make sure they’re not already taken in the specific city.
One company asked for 60 names that were “obscure.” St. Bob was hovering nearby as I read the request, and here’s how our conversation went:
Bob: How obscure are we talking? I know—send him 1st Street, 2nd Street, 3rd Street—
Joni: Good idea. I can end with 60th street, and then say if he needs more he can use 61st Street, 62nd Street—
Bob: Then say, “I have hundreds of these.”
Well now I’m laughing my head off, but Bob isn’t done.
Bob: Here’s a good one. Sea anemenomenome.
Joni: You mean Sea Anemone? I would never use that one.
Bob: Why not? People could ask where you live and you could say, I live on Sea anenemenonome, I mean Sea amonemenee, oh nevermind.
Joni: Exactly why I wouldn’t use that.
Now Bob grabs a can of fish balls—yes, Nicole brought them home from Norway and we’re afraid to open them—they’re called Fiskeboller (or Fiskbullar in Swedish).
Bob: There must be 20 good names on this label alone! Ravarutillgang, kryddextrakter, potatismjul, fortjockningsmedel—
Now I am laughing so hard I’m crying. It doesn’t matter that I have not asked for Bob’s help; I’m going to get it anyway. So if you’re driving around someday and you see a street name with 20 letters, you’ll know St. Bob was there.