Seriously, I seem to have more crazy people in my life than anyone I know. Here’s my latest encounter.
I am driving along and I see what looks like the most gorgeous lawn I’ve ever seen. As a gardening nut, I have to stop and tell the owner this. (See? Most of my encounters begin with absolutely kind intentions).
No owner at
home. So a week later I happen to be in the same area again, and this time the
owner is in his driveway. I stop and he is as friendly as can be. He tells me
it’s an artificial turf lawn. No way!
Yes way! It’s the most realistic
one I’ve ever seen.
We chat about world events and the guy seems like a genius. Then he tells me he bought his house with bitcoin earnings. (I make a plan to go home and invest in bitcoins). Then he points out some boulders at the front of his property and wonders what they’re made of.
Aha! I can now tell him that one of our sons is a professional geologist, and I can bring him by to identify them (they look like granite, but what do I know?) and he says great.
I do this. I bring St. Bob AND Richie and the three of us pay a visit to this nice gentleman. Richie crouches down to examine the stones and explains the rock composition (yep, granite) and then the guy says, “Sometimes they oscillate.” Uh-oh. Richie doesn’t even look up, and just kindly says, “Well, we’ve had some earthquakes.” Not true, but it helps the guy save face.
Just before leaving I notice little red blood spots seeping through the guy’s shirt, as if he’s been poking himself with a nail or something. Oh, dear.
We get in the
car and I say, “Honestly—he seemed really smart and all I wanted to do was tell
him how nice his lawn looked.”
“Which is exactly how half the Dateline episodes begin,” Richie says.
And then we remember the cab driver in Italy, and a few other examples of people I have befriended who then turned out to be, let’s say, off their medication.
But you’ve
gotta admit, oscillating rocks would be pretty cool.
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