Hansel and Who?

         I have always loved fairy tales, fairy gardens, fairy everything. But who knew I was turning into a fairy tale character? Gretel, to be precise.

         You remember Hansel and Gretel, leaving bread crumbs behind. Well, I do this without even trying. Honesty, you guys, I think I have excellent table manners and I am not attempting to make a mess, but (here comes the excuse) I do have dyspraxia, which is clumsy child syndrome.

          This means I am likely to trip over my chair, knock over my water glass, and yes, leave more crumbs around my plate than anyone else.

          Part if this is because I am one of those big babies who won’t eat her crusts.  They’re hard. They’re scratchy. They’re burnt and dry. So I peel them off. Luckily, my Hansel, I mean my handsome hubby, loves crusts. So we make a good pair.

          There’s just one problem. When the waiter comes to take our plates, it looks like a two-year-old has eaten in my spot. Invariably my plate is surrounded by crumbs.  

           My daughter, who studies personalities, says this is also because I am a “One,” the category of childlike people who are typically messy eaters whether they’re klutzy or not.

          Fine. I accept the diagnosis. But I’m still not eating my crusts.

          However, I have dozens of life hacks you can watch on my Youtube Mom channel.  And how not to spill on your shirt is one of them!