Keeping Pace

Well, he did it.  St. Bob got a pacemaker. 

Thank you, Richie, for the appropriate artwork.

His brother, Ken, flew in from Mississippi for the procedure, and contributed an apple fritter for post op recovery:

I had wondered if the pacemaker would be like a piano metronome, and we’d hear a steady ticking.

But no, it’s completely silent.  HOWEVER, you can opt for a doorbell feature to alert you that the battery’s running low in a few years.  That ought to wake you up.

And speaking of waking up, in this day of apps that do everything, why can’t they wire these things with a few more options?  Here are just a few I think would be handy:

A sleep machine feature with white noise, chirping birds, crashing waves, whatever you like. Then a lovely alarm to wake you up.

An applause setting so you can clap at performances without even having to move your hands.  For the truly lazy.

A baloney detector that goes “Wheep, wheep, wheep!” when people are lying.

A barking dog sound, just for fun.

GPS, as suggested by our son, Cassidy.

Comedy performances, and thus become a truly phenomenal ventriloquist who can talk even when his lips are tightly sealed.  Ditto for opera singing.

Books on tape that only you can hear, to help you through boring meetings.

And, of course, a whole Honey Do list of ideas to keep one’s spouse busy, along with a remote control for me to use.  But probably no one would sign up for that one.

You can, however, stay busy reading my books and watching my YouTube Mom videos.  Find everything here.