Tuesday, July 18, 2017

10 Things I Will Not Do on My Next Summer Vacation

  1. I will not let the family comedian ride by the window where he can motion for the drivers of semi trucks to honk, thus scaring the rest of us out of our wits.
  2. I will not park a motorhome next to a gathering of people who are still mourning the death of Jerry Garcia.
  3. I will not allow a Boy Scout to navigate, just so he can get a badge.
  4. I will not allow a Boy Scout to navigate, just because he GOT a badge.
  5. I will not allow any chorus of children to sing songs about finding peanuts.
  6. I will not stay on a working ranch that doesn’t realize the word ‘working’ is just a figure of speech.
  7. I will not engage in any activity that involves oars.
  8. I will not go to a ‘cook your own food’ restaurant (isn’t this what we went on vacation to escape?)
  9. I will not wear knit pants on any ride that bears the sign: You will get soaked.
  10. I will not participate in hula stage shows if video cameras are present.
  11. I will not sign up for the city tour on a bus that also transports chickens.
  12. I will not buy musical replicas of national monuments.
  13. I will not pack any shoe with more than a one-inch heel.
  14. I will not allow shells containing live creatures, to be packed up and brought home.
One thing you can safely do is take along a beach read-- may I suggest one of my books available here?

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