I like Liam Neeson. I like suspense-filled action movies. I do not like texting. So, two out of three, right? I still enjoyed his new movie, Non-Stop. AND, you will be happy to know, I did not let it ruin the movie knowing that nonstop should not be hyphenated.
So, no spoilers, here, folks. I’m not revealing any big secret when I say that texted threats are a huge component of this movie’s story. And, once again, I shall tell you how the entire premise of the movie could have been solved.
First, let me remind you that this is the blog where you read another amazing and insightful movie analysis here, where I pointed out that Iron Man 3 is entirely about menopause hot flashes so intense they make their victims burst into flames. And I still stand by that conclusion.
This time we have a movie whose complete danger could have been avoided if only Liam Neeson were more like me, ergo hated texting.
In fact, had U.S. Air Marshal Bill been as inept at it as I am, he would never have turned on his phone during the flight, would never have retrieved texted threats, and never even tried to respond. He most certainly couldn’t have clickety-clacked like a teenager, and typed out such speedy messages. Granted, he wouldn’t have the acrylic nails I do, which definitely hamper my attempts to text, but he’s 61 years old, already, and could easily blame his age for a lack of interest in texting.
Anyone sending a stupid threat in this way would be ignored, perhaps even while Bill was enjoying an inflight meal and humming along with Oldies music on his head phones. But no. They had to have a techno-savvy marshal. And a techno-savvy villain.
Texting is not only an enormous danger while driving, and an annoying preoccupation of people standing right in front of each other, but can now pose a danger to anyone with an airline ticket.
I’m telling you, if I’m in mid-air, the last thing I want is for my air marshal to have yet one more way to communicate with a hijacker or a terrorist. If some criminal wants to pose a perilous demand, let him march up and speak personally, at which point he can get shot and—ta-da! Problem solved.
I just can’t believe they didn’t ask me to be an advisor on this movie.
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